Mixed Media

Ben Rector

2009-10-02T13:00:00.000-07:00

Ben Rector is a current favorite of mine, and this video rocks!

Book Review: The Moon in the Mango Tree

2009-09-19T07:47:00.000-07:00

The Moon in the Mango Tree
by Pamela Binnings Ewen
2.5 out of 5 stars

Oh boy, I have total mixed feelings about how to rate this book. I usually do, because I know that even if I disliked the book, this any many others that I give low ratings are still decent fiction stories that most people would probably find enjoyable. I don't know, I just feel like there are so many GOOD and GREAT books, I don't want to waste my time on the masses of what my college Literature proff called "crap-o-rama".

By the time this book became available to me on Paperbackswap.com, I had completely forgotten who had recommended it to me or what it was about. It begins as the story of a young woman who gives up her singing career to join her husband in medical missions in Thailand in the early 1900's. There are sort of two stages to the book. The first half is the story of their experiences in a tiny village in Northern Thailand, and the second is later years spent as secular socialites in the big cities of Thailand and Europe. At first I thought it was going to be a classic lame Christian fiction, but it wasn't. The main character basically gives up her faith and Protestants are portrayed in a very bad light. That made things interesting because I was curious to know which life-philosophy the author was going to go with.

Ultimately what does make it a powerful story is that it's based on the true story of the life of the author's grandmother. Although the writing wasn't awesome, what I found most engaging was the inner battle of the main character between Independence and being the supportive wife. When she chooses to support her husband she feels useless and meaningless. When she leaves to pursue her singing career she weighs the potential loss of her husband and children.

What really drove me crazy is that the main character was SO selfish and narcissistic. Her perspective on life in the village just made me want to wring her neck and yell at her to suck it up and get on with life instead of sitting around the house moaning about how awful life is. Later in the book when she moans about having given up all of her dreams to support her husband's career I STILL found it hard to sympathize with her because I felt like she never tried to find a middle ground, to discuss things with her husband and find a way for them both to pursue their dreams at once. She just played the victim.

So - it was an interesting story but ultimately I rather disliked the main character and the writing wasn't fantastic. The final philosophy is only portrayed in the last few pages and actually seemed ridiculous to me after reading an entire book of her wrestling with faith and doubt and various religions.

Book Review: Still Alice by Lisa Genova

2009-09-15T08:57:00.000-07:00

Still Alice
by Lisa Genova
4.5 out of 5 stars

Technically this is a work of fiction about a Harvard professor who finds out she has early-onset Alzheimer's while she is in her mid-50's. It is written as a first-person account, and it flows beautifully through the initial startling moments of forgetfulness and then the deep grief of diagnosis, and then through the next couple of years into increasingly simple and contradictory thoughts and vocabulary. The author is actually a neuro-scientist and Alzheimer's is her field of study, so this book has been lauded by patients and the medical field as being very accurate.

It was very emotional to read, and you grasp the deep feelings of helplessness as an intelligent and independent woman loses her grasp on reality and memory. It made me ache for my aging grandparents, knowing that dementia works in similar ways. I totally recommend this book.

Movie Reviews: State of Play, Star Trek, New in Town

2009-09-10T00:00:00.000-07:00

Star Trek 5/5 stars

Star Trek was probably the best movie I've seen this year. I'm not a Trekkie, in fact I knew nothing about it other than that it was the future and it was in space. For me, it was awesome, a total crowd pleaser. Great plot, great acting, funny and dramatic at once. I thoroughly enjoyed it and totally want to own it! I thought the worst part was the main character, who was too much the young hot star and not a brilliant actor. However, he was survivable, and the rest of the movie was great.

State of Play: 4/5 stars

You know, I haven't heard much buzz about State of Play even though it's Russell Crowe, Ben Affleck, Helen Mirren, and Rachel McAdams. I thought it was excellent. It's a mystery - Affleck plays a congressman whose research assistant dies. Affleck's old college roomate and seasoned investigative journalist is Crowe, who get tangled up in investigating the death. It's a good mystery with great twists and turns. Russell Crowe is of course fantastic. Affleck plays exactly the character he should play to not distract - a smarmy clean-cut guy. Mirren and McAdamas are great in their supporting rolls. It was a good movie - I totally recommend it.

New In Town 3.5/5 stars (ALMOST four stars)

I like a good chick flick, but most chick flicks aren't good. I watched this one alone so as to avoid inflicting a potentially bad chick flick on my husband and roomates. You know, it wasn't bad, and I would say it is mostly a comedy with a little chick flick thrown in. I actually enjoyed it. It's Renee Zellwegger playing a career businesswoman who is sent to a company factory in the middle of nowhere in Minnesota. She is charged with overhauling the factory and making major layoffs. Of course, the little town of New Ulm is rather set against the corporate bigshots and any changes they may want to make. What made this movie enjoyable was the hilariously quirky town of New Ulm, with fantastically cliche residents and their awesome Fargo-like accent. I laughed repeatedly and thought it was clever and not overly cheesy. Of course there is a romance developed between Zellwegger and the town's young widow, played by Harry Connick Jr, but it doesn't play too central of a part. Light movie watching, but enjoyable.

Tudors (the TV Series) (3.5/5 Stars)

Isaac and I are watching the second season of the Tudors, which is a tv series based on Henry VIII. It's actually very very well made, historically accurate, well-acted, and interesting. There is a caveat though. To me, it's very similar to how I feel about the series Rome, which is also a fantastically made and historically accurate show. Rome, however, is maybe TOO historically accurate. The show is SO sexually explicit/trashy. Yes, it's true that ancient Rome really was pretty crazy sexually even compared to today. Still... I really don't want to see it. Similarly, yes, Henry VIII was obviously pretty trashy himself, but again, we don't want to see it, and I think the show goes beyond realism and into things that I think are straight up innapropriate.

So... it's such a shame because both shows are excellent and really educational in history.... and rather difficult to watch at times. Too bad.

Book Review: Under the Banner of Heaven - A Story of Violent Faith by Jon Krakauer

2009-09-07T21:41:00.000-07:00

Under the Banner of Heaven - A Story of Violent Faith
by Jon Krakauer
4/5 stars

(Temple Square in Salt Lake City)

What a book. Krakauer presents the Mormon church through the broad lens of their history, beginning with Joseph Smith and working through to today. He also focuses in on the modern-day story of Dan and Ron Lafferty, two members of a fundamentalist Mormon splinter group who murdered their sister-in-law and niece in cold blood because they believed God told them to.

Although the book is about the Mormon church and the Fundamentalist Mormon church, the underlying theme is Krakauer wrestling with faith. How and why do people believe, and what defines the difference between those who lead peacefully pious lives and those who follow their faith into extreme and sometimes violent acts. Those questions are really what made the book powerful on top of the very interesting history.

Reading about the history of Mormonism is always fascinating - it seems so utterly ridiculous that I just find it stunning that so many people follow it. In any case, most of the history section was well-written and interesting. The description of the splinter groups off of Mormonism was also fascinating. A couple of years back when Warren Jeffs was arrested I was treated to some public display of the Fundamentalist Mormon church, but Krakauer explains their history and WHY they believe what they believe. For the most part they practice polygamy and spurn both the modern-day Mormon church and the US Government. It was shocking to see how these splinter groups are simultaneously twisted together as well as scattered and divided.

Warren Jeffs with a 14 year old bride:

One fascinating section described the trial of Ron Lafferty, one of the murderers described above. Though Ron didn't claim to be crazy, at one point in his trials there was a lot of debate about whether or not his fanatical beliefs and actions made him crazy. There was a huge reaction to this charge because while Ron was certainly eccentric, he wasn't a loner, he wasn't withdrawn or humorless. He was social, a big thiner, loved to laugh and in general couldn't be defined as crazy, only zealous. If the court found him insane, it would be purely for his religious beliefs. While his beliefs were unconventional, believing that God spoke directly to Him, that demons were around, and that he was in a battle for God's purpose in a world controlled by evil is actually the prevailing belief of many, many people in the US and the world.

Interesting, eh? I plan to write a little more about my thoughts on this on my theology blog, but I'll close with Krakauer's own closing words, which explain his own perspective on faith that informed the search and writing of this book.

"I don't know what God is, or what God had in mind when the universe was set in motion. In fact, I don't even know if God even exists, although I confess that I sometimes find myself praying in times of great fear, or despair, or astonishment at a display of unexpected beauty.... And if I remain in the dark about our purpose here, and the meaning of eternity, I have nevertheless arrived at an understanding of a few more modest truths: Most of us fear death. Most of us yearn to comprehend how we got here, and why - which is to say, most of us feel the ache to know the love of our creator. And we will no doubt feel that ache, most of us, for as long as we happen to be alive."

Book Reviews: Secret Life of Bees and The Opposite of Love

2009-09-04T14:47:00.000-07:00

The Secret Life of Bees
by Sue Monk Kidd
3/5 stars

The Secret Life is a super popular book and movie, but this was my first exposure. I've been reading some pretty long books recently, so this was a refreshing, quick read. It was heart-warming and dealt a lot with loss and trauma in childhood. It was really beautiful to a child find a place that she is truly at home, and of course that is seen as pretty unusual since she's a little white girl and is staying with a rather eccentric group of black women. So yes, it's beautiful. The depiction of a syncretistic faith drawn from Marian exhaltation in Catholicism and some flat out animistic practicies is probably realistic, but I sure hope readers aren't being influenced by it!

The Opposite of Love
by Julie Buxbaum
3/5 stars

Total chick book. :) Buxbaum's work received RAVE reviews from several bloggers I follow, so I ordered it to see what everyone was so excited about. It IS a good book, and I think it would be a really good book if I had grown up in America. The main character reminded me of the girls I worked with in Chicago - good but somewhat broken family, driven professionally but feeling empty inside, searching for romance, alternately hitting up parties with friends and hibernating in her apartment. The novel totally dug into the heart of a young professional - the longing for love, for family, for meaning.... so I see why everyone raved about it. For me, though, it made me feel like I'm from an alternate universe. Even though I have worked in that world, my heart is in the jungle and the mountains, in third-world countries, or working with my refugees. I struggle to relate to the world of young professionals in America, so even though the book was GOOD, it was a little hard for me to relate to.

Book Review: Night by Elie Wiesel

2009-08-26T06:00:00.000-07:00

Night is by Elie Wiesel, a Holocaust and Auschwitz survivor and a Nobel prize winner. The book is short and powerful, and is required reading for most US public schools.

It was an easy read. I don't think the writing itself stands above and beyond other writing. I think the power of the story and the deep emotion is really what makes it a Nobel novel. Wiesel says in the preface that the novel was initially much longer and was liberally slashed. Reading it felt like reading stream-of-memory thoughts because so much was slashed that probably initially made it flow nicely. I think the bluntness helped the power of the novel - it felt extremely raw.

To me, though, the most interesting thing was actually a forward written by Francois Mauriac, the man that found a printer for the book. He tells of meeting Wiesel, of talking about the Holocaust and being shocked and silenced by the darkness of Wiesel's childhood experiences of having his mother and sister taken to the ovens, his father dying before his eyes, and in the process losing what was once a deeply personal Jewish faith.

Mauriac is a Christian, and his thoughts blew me away. I'm not quite sure how it made it into the printing. He compares Wiesel's process to the musings of Nietzsche, and understand that in the face of such immense evil, Wiesel can't conceive of a good God and so decides that God is dead. Mauriac says,

And I, who believe that God is love, what answer was there to give my young interlocutor whose dark eyes still held the reflection of a hanged child? What did I say to him? Did I speak to him of that other Jew, this crucified brother who perhaps resembled him and whose cross conquered the world? Did I explain to him that what had been a stumbling block for his faith had become a cornerstone for mine? And that the connection between the cross and human suffering remains, in my view, the key to the unfathomable mystery in which the faith of his childhood was lost?

This paragraph stuns me. I believe it's true - that is is impossible to face the depth and darkness of human suffering and depravity with any hope until you recognize the participation of God in the death and suffering and the hope we now gain in the resurrection of Jesus Christ.

Yeah. I don't know how in the world that paragraph was let through, considering the book and its audience are highly skeptical of faith.

Book Review: A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry

2009-08-12T16:11:00.000-07:00

A Fine Balance
by Rohinton Mistry

Wow. This book was truly a masterpiece. It is now officially on my favorite book list.

Mistry is Indian American and his book is set in India. It follows a number of characters and their families through a couple of generations, painting a picture of life in India in the city and in the country, in low and high caste, from the perspective of a man and that of a woman. The main characters are a widowed woman named Dinah that attempts to open her own tailoring business in order to keep her apartment and independent life. She hires two tailors who have come to the city looking for work, Ishvar and his nephew, Omprakash. She also takes on a boarder, a student from a well-off family in the mountains named Manek.

The story is brilliant and the characters are gripping. It's a long book, so by two-thirds of the way through the book I was completely wrapped up in Ishvar and Omprakash's story. I felt their hopelessness as they were swept out of the slums into the brick-making factory. I rejoiced as they finally settled into Dinah's flat and seemed to create a patch-work family that took joy in their strange lives. I smelled the stench of the train-track bathroom and worried about the local beggars with them. That's the power of the story.

Thing is, I hate this book for getting me so wrapped up into it, because I SO wanted it to end well. It so effectively portrays the tragedy of life and the systemic injustice in Indira Gandi's India. I was so content when the book seemed to be wrapping up the story to show that despite the madness, they could create simple life filled with love for each other and it would all be worth it - a grand tapestry with tragedy and triumph.

However, that's not the way it ends. Mistry rips the beauty apart and Ishvar, Om, Dinah and Manek are all taken up in things that just seem SO unjust. I got so angry about it that I found myself telling the whole story to Isaac and he also grasped the horror of it all. I just couldn't separate myself from their story and think about it objectively, which really shows the power of the book.

So - I wholeheartedly recommend this book. It's a bit like reading an old Dickens novel, except quite a bit easier to read. You follow quirky characters that all end up interconnected, and much of it is dark and sorrowful despite the humor of the writing. It's tough for me to reconcile myself to the anti-fairy-tale ending, but at the same time Mistry IS portraying injustice, and most of the time injustice isn't ever reconciled.

5/5 stars from me.

Movie Reviews: Defiance, Seven Pounds, Taken

2009-07-28T06:00:00.000-07:00

Defiance:

I totally loved Defiance. I was excited to see it after Valkyrie because I like Daniel Craig better than Tom Cruise and I thought the story sounded incredible. I had no idea that a group of brothers managed to organize a community of Jewish refugees hidden away in the forests of Belarus and stayed there until the end of the war, when over 1,200 men, women, and children emerged. I guess I'd say the movie isn't a huge epic drama and it had its more stilted moments, but it was still a powerful story and I enjoyed the movie.

Seven Pounds:

This was another super heavy one that takes you for a ride. I had no idea where the storyline was leading when we started watching, so it unfolded before me as a mystery, and at the ending I was just as horrified as the directors meant for their audience to be. I've heard some vehement reactions to the movie - a lot of people hate it with a passion, and I see good reason for that. Will Smith is given an element of heroism because of his great sacrifice, but ... at the same time he does something truly awful.

I had mixed feelings. I'm about to give away things here, so stop reading if you plan on seeing it! To me, Will Smith was a pretty powerful Christ-type in some ways. He gives away everything he has, even down to his life itself, in order to save those around him. That should be beautiful, right? Except - it's a failed Christ-type because while Christ's sacrificial death gave us access TO Him. It gave us relationship, and love. Will Smith's death took away relationship and love, and left people (in particular the woman that had fallen for him) alone. To me, it wasn't really a sacrifice at all, because he didn't do it FOR her or any of the other people, he did it to assuage his own feelings of guilt. I suppose in the end I didn't hate the movie because it provided food for thought about the beauty of the sacrifice of Christ.

Taken:
We made the mistake of watching a movie about the kidnapping of a young American girl with my sister, the day after we picked her up from traveling across the world alone. Poor thing! I don't think it went over well. It is a pretty intense movie with a typical Hollywood hero that outsmarts the bad guy in a huge dramatic show-down. I would say the movie is totally unrealistic in most ways, and it's not particularly amazing, and I can't stand the main actress. However, it has helped bring human-trafficking into public conversation, and that's hard to criticize.

Book Review: Temple Bombing by Melissa Fay Greene

2009-07-27T20:28:00.000-07:00

Temple Bombing by Melissa Fay Greene caught my eye at Half-Price Books because it was in the multi-cultural literature section, and I generally love that genre. I have mixed feelings about the book, despite the 5 star reviews it received on amazon.com.

Greene is a detailed author telling the true story of the bombing of a Jewish temple. I loved the historical context of the bombing among southern race relations after desegregation. However, about halfway through the fascinating context gave way to minute details on the investigation and trial related to the bombing, and at this point the detail becomes paaaainfully boring. I couldn't finish the book. It's no the fault of the author - she did a brilliant job of painting a vivid picture of the Jews in the South and how they perceived themselves and their faith amidst the culture. It's just that the trial itself really isn't all that interesting.

3 out of 5 stars.

Book Review: Gilead by Marilynne Robinson

2009-07-24T06:00:00.000-07:00

Wow. What a book. Five stars from me.

Gilead fascinates me. I added it to my paperbackswap list because it was a Pulitzer Prize winner and several book bloggers recommended it. The stunning reviews on the back of my copy are from Washington Post, Entertainment Weekly, Chicago Tribune, TIME, etc. I figured it was going to be a good book.

What I didn't expect is for it to be the powerful and blatantly Christian fiction book I have read in a long, long time.

The New York Magazine review said this:

You can appreciate and admire Marilynne Robinson’s beautifully evoked novel if you don’t share her religious values: You can even be moved by it. But unless you are a believing Christian with strong fundamentalist leanings, you cannot truly understand Gilead. Lacking such faith, you’re probably not going to like it much, either. That is, if you read Robinson with the seriousness and intelligence she deserves.

Thing is, I've hardly heard anything about this novel from the Christian world, which doesn't surprise me I guess, because the Christian world is so inundated with shallow feel-good fiction. Robinson IS intelligent, and her book is packed with theology. You just won't appreciate it without being willing to really think about life. Back to the review quoted above:

To pass over it as some light fictional conceit would be to transgress against the novel’s essential meaning. The first two sentiments, for a skeptical, secular reader, are impossible to accept. To such a reader, there is nothing great or bright about suffering and dying; and some human faces, like the faces of torturers, do not possess a trace of courage, and not any sort of loneliness that would arouse love or forgiveness. Ames would test the faith of many Christians, too.

Despite all of that, Gilead is highly praised by the literary world. The reason is clear - she writes beautifully. It is the beautiful, reminiscing, meandering thoughts of an old preacher in a tiny prairie town in Kansas. At the beginning I thought it would be the kind of book that I love solely for its achingly beautiful description of small everyday things. Somehow in the midst of that beauty, Robinson ends up unraveling the complex relationships through a couple of generations of families. The central themes are the father-son relationship, forgiveness, blessing, death and life.

I highly recommend the book, but have to be honest and say that if you like easy-reading, you may not like this book. I think you have to be able to read on before you have been drawn into a plot, because this book is delayed gratification in that respect.

A few quotes from the old pastor:

I’m writing this in part to tell you that if you ever wonder what you’ve done in your life, and everyone does wonder sooner or later, you have been God’s grace to me, a miracle, something more than a miracle. You may not remember me very well at all, and it may seem to you to be no great thing to have been the good child of an old man in a shabby little town you will no doubt leave behind. If only I had the words to tell you.

To me it seems rather Christlike to be as unadorned as this place is, as little regarded. I can’t help imagining that you will leave sooner or later, and it’s fine if you have done that, or you mean to do it. This whole town does look like whatever hope becomes after it begins to weary a little, then weary a little more. But hope deferred is still hope. I love this town. I think sometimes of going into the ground here as a last wild gesture of love–I too will smolder away the time until the great and general incandescence. (pg 247)

You can know a thing to death and be for all purposes completely ignorant of it. A man can know his father, or his son, and there might still be nothing between them but loyalty and love and mutual incomprehension. (p 7)

I don’t know exactly what covetise is, but in my experience it is not so much desiring someone else’s virtue or happiness as rejecting it, taking offense at the beauty of it. (p 188)

There are a thousand thousand reasons to live this life, every one of them sufficient. (p 243)

I feel sometimes as if I were a child who opens it eyes on the world once and sees amazing things it will never know any names for and then has to close its eyes again. (p 57)

Sometimes I have loved the peacefulness of an ordinary Sunday. It is like standing in a newly planted garden after a warm rain. You can feel the silent and invisible life.

Movie Reviews! Before Sunrise, Changeling, Bride Wars

2009-07-21T09:35:00.000-07:00

I have to start off with the biggest surprise. I watched this movie on my own because I had no idea if it would be great or a total mess of a movie. I'd seen it on a couple of lists of the best romantic movies of all time, and that intrigued me since I'd never heard of it before. I did my research and added it to the blockbuster list, and you know, it WAS pretty good.

It's the story of a free and easy young man and woman that meet on a train in Europe. He is visiting from the US, sight-seeing and trying to assuage the pain of a breakup. She's traveling alone. They hit it off and spontaneously decide to spend a few hours together before his plane leaves the next day. The movie is the story of those hours, and it's rather beautifully done. They wander around the streets of Vienna - in parks, bars, etc. Mostly they talk - about life, love, their hopes and dreams, faith, etc. I think I liked it because it showed the type of interactions that I really love - two people just being totally honest and falling in love as a result.

On the other hand, it definitely smacks of the philosophical narcissism of the '90's. They'll say something esoteric and cynical sit in silence to think about it for a while. I know that at the time those sorts of thoughts seemed new and ground-breaking and daring, but 10 years later they just sound like all of my generation as teens - being cynical about things we knew nothing about and thinking we were cool because of it.

So yeah, there are some things that are ridiculous about the WAY they think about life. What is beautiful is just the personal interaction. It really is beautifully portrayed, and geez, Celine manages to look like such a natural chick in an old dress who looks stunningly beautiful. And you know, here's the odd thing. They don't sleep together. They discuss it and decide not to because it will make all of their connection and conversation seem like it was only because of the sex.

The other thing that makes it unusual is the total lack of resolution. Even as they continued to feel closer and closer to each other, they pull a Sleepless in Seattle and agree to just say goodbye, not contact each other, and to meet again in a year if it really did mean something in the grand scheme of things. However, unlike the other 90's movies with that plot-line, this movie ends with the goodbye, and there is NO hint of what happens afterwards. It sort of drove me crazy even though I loved it.

I guess years later they made a sequel, and it's in my blockbuster queue but I'm not holding my breathe. I think this movie has a unique tension in it that any sequel will spoil.

Changeling:

Yow. I have actually become a pretty big fan of Angelina's acting, and I was excited about this one despite not really knowing anything about the plot. It is a HEAVY and dark movie. They don't hold back - they show the grief of a mother after a kidnapping, the horrific home of a mass murderer of children and how he went about his murders, it shows the agonizing trial, it shows a hanging without any subtlety, and it shows an abusive women's mental hospital.

Yeah. It wasn't particularly fun to watch. It is based on a true story though, and that true story is pretty near unbelievable, and totally deserves to be told. There's a lot to learn from it. On the other hand, you sort of at least wish there was a happy ending to balance out the great grief and trauma of the rest of the movie. No. It pretty much ends by saying there was ultimately no resolution for this mother, which completely sucks. I recommend the movie as a powerful movie, but absolutely NOT for light movie watching.

Bride Wars:

I'm not a girl that likes the mindless romantic comedies (but I do enjoy the ones that ARE smart!). I hoped this one would be enjoyable but I fell asleep halfway through because it was just ridiculous. Yeah it's a funny story about two friends competing over their weddings, but their characters have absolutely no depth to them - it's just all over-the-top girly drama (unlike He's Not That Into You, which I thought delved more deeply into the characters). I just couldn't get into it.

SYTYCD favorite routine this week

2009-07-16T09:21:00.000-07:00

My favorite So You Think You Can Dance routine of last night ... Jason and Janine, dancing you Jason Mraz's "If It Kills Me" (I want that cd, by the way). I just can't pick between Janine and Jeanette as my favorites!

New obsession: Josh Garrells

2009-07-16T06:00:00.000-07:00

I have a new musical obsession. Josh Garrells. Now to actually buy his cds instead of just listen online.

"Train Song" - Josh Garrels from Josh Garrels on Vimeo.

"Travel The Land" - Josh Garrels from Josh Garrels on Vimeo.

What I love about country music

2009-07-14T06:00:00.000-07:00

I love country music. It's one of the few things that most people disagree with me about but I still proudly, defiantly cling to.

I just love it. I never listened to it or liked it until mid-college, when my brother's then-girlfriend got him started. I tell you, it spreads like a disease, and by now it's to the point that I will spend days with my radio dial not just on country, but on bluegrass, which is the epitome of twang.

Country music makes me feel happy. I love that it almost always tells a story. I get so disgusted on the pop-rock station when I hear artists moaning on unintelligibly or with lyrics that make no sense to anyone but the artist themselves. Country music dwells on the every-day. Relationships. Marriage. Kids. Beer. Trucks. God.

I have a love-hate relationship with Country's depiction of life in the USA. It most often depicts the romantic small-town America that I do love - I see it as my cultural heritage, even though I never experienced it. For instance:

See that? It's like the Little House on the Prairie grew up and became good ol' small-town country USA. I appreciate those things about the US. I love the emphasis on family, home, love, hard work, and faith. It's its own unique culture, and I find it delightful. I mean, the beauty portrayed in Kenny Chesney's song "There Goes My Life" is so awesome.

My favorite country singers - Brad Paisley, Rascall Flatts, and Kenny Chesney... all tend to sing either sweet love songs, nostalgic memories, or hilarious stories that never fail to make me laugh (see Paisley's Mr. Policeman). I mean, who can beat lyrics like "God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" (Billy Currington)? It's just... FUN...

On the other hand, then there are songs that show the xenophobia, super-Conservative politics, or just ridiculous parts of small-town America that either make me mad or just make me shake my head in exasperation. For instance, John Rich's "Shuttin' Detroit Down", which just makes all corporations or business owners look like lazy, greedy rich people that take advantage of the little guys.

Now I see all these big shots whining on my evening news,
About how their losing billions and its up to me and you
To come running to the rescue.
Well pardon me if I dont shed a tear.
There selling make believe and we dont buy that here.
Because in the real world their shuttin Detroit down,
While the boss man takes his bonus paid jets on out of town.
DCs bailing out them bankers as the farmers auction ground.
Yeah while there living up on Wall Street in that New York City town,
Here in the real world their shuttin Detroit down.
Here in the real world their shuttin Detroit down.

Anyways... regardless, Country music still remains my go-to music for feel good fun or heart-breakingly beautiful music.

Favorite So You Think You Can Dance Routines

2009-07-13T15:04:00.000-07:00

*warning - might take a while to load*

I LOVE watching people dance. All types of dancing. Thus, I love the show So You Think You Can Dance. Lucky for me, so does our roomate Steph, so we've been watching every week.

Last week another Mia Michael's choreographed dance with the theme of addiction had tv blogs buzzing. I don't actually like Kayla or Kupono, but the dance was beautiful.

I have several favorites from last season, including Katee and Joshua's dance to "No Air". Man...

Apparently Katee was one of my favorites, because I also loved another Mia Michael's routines with Katee and Twitch centered around a door:

Another one from a few seasons ago - "Bleeding Love" with Mark and Chelsea:

Oh man, there's so many more though.
Travis and Heidi and the bench: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=paecnvlpTNY
Twitch and Joshua having a manly competition in Russian Dance: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uz8C64_YFBQ

This season I'm definitely a fan of Jeanette and Brandon and also love Janine...

So ... who are your favorites and what are your all-time favorite dances?

Movie Reviews: Benjamin Button, Terminator, Broken Trail

2009-06-11T05:00:00.000-07:00

I'm behind on my movie reviews, so today you get them in bulk.

First of all, have you guys even heard of Broken Trail? It's not a movie, it's a mini-series starring Robert Duvall that came out in '06 and is sort of an old Western. It was really highly reviewed on Blockbuster.com, so I added it to my queue. I actually ended up loving it - it has such a redemptive message to it and although it deals with some intense topics, I'd say the world-view of the show makes it very family friendly.

It's a little slow at time - it highlights the gorgeous scenery of a cattle drive through the West as a an old man and his nephew herd the last of their family cattle to sell. Along the way they encounter a load of Chinese women that are being taken from San Fran to be prostitutes in Wild-West sort of town. The addition of these Chinese girls into the story is really what made it fascinating to me - I know this plot twist is based on real historical trends, but I don't think this actual story is very realistic. Add in some bad guys, gun fights, saloon hold-ups, etc, and you have all the ingredients for a great old Western. I recommend it.
8/10 bags of popcorn

Terminator -
Well, in anticipation of the latest Terminator movie coming out Isaac has been borrowing the old ones from the people we babysit for (who are sci-fi fanatics) and forcing me into rewatching them. I managed to sleep through most of one of them and I've had some good laughs at the ridiculousness of the 80's, but all in all I've generally enjoyed getting on this bandwagon. Mostly I think I liked this newest Terminator best. It definitely reflects the trends in movies today, which is less pure action flick (like the 80's action flicks) and more plot and dialogue. That's what made Terminator Salvation much more enjoyable to me than the other Terminators, but I still wouldn't recommend seeing it without seeing the others, simply because there's so much continuity between them. Sci fi and action are not my thing, but given the genre this was okay.
7/10 bags of popcorn

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button -
You know, I actually really liked this movie. Brad Pitt has picked some excellent roles recently. The basic gist of the plot is that Benjamin Button is born into the body of an old man and proceeds to get younger as he goes through his life. He does life in reverse. He also just lives a unique life and has plenty of adventures and falls in love and it's really my kind of movie - very character-driven and interesting. I think the most powerful thing about the movie is how it examined age and its effect on people. What does an old soul do in a young body? What does a young soul do in an old body? In all of these stages Brad Pitt/Benjamin Button is an unperturbed and keenly interested man that is fun to watch.
8/10 bags of popcorn

Books vs. TV shows and my double-standards

2009-05-27T20:55:00.000-07:00

When I read a mediocre novel I will toss it down at the end of my reading with disgust and rail on about junk-food style writing that isn't beneficial to actual thought and intelligence, and then settle down to read someone like Chaim Potok or Ayn Rand. Yeah. I think I'm so cultured and thoughtful.

And then I'll sit down and watch the Bachelorette.

I know. It's hypocritical.

Somehow I just can't stand reading for pure entertainment when I know there is plenty out there on my to-read list that is both entertaining and intelligent. However, sometimes I just need a brainless tv show that allows me to just unwind and laugh a little.

Part of it is that tv shows are just an hour long and books take hours and hours to read, so somehow I feel like it's just giving my mind a break to watch a show before getting back to business. My TV watching is also very interactive, because Isaac and I talk our way through shows, mocking them together.

And that, folks, is why watching the first two Episodes of The Bachelorette with Isaac has been extremely entertaining. I find The Bachelor to be infinitely frustrating, because there is not much that is more annoying than watching a houseful of women bicker and backstab. On the other hand, watching a houseful of guys compete for a woman is stinkin' hilarious. The competitiveness comes out strong, but so does the joking and manly sarcasm and all sorts of crazy guy antics. And then there's Isaac's commentary..... "Ooooohhh that guy just totally broke the man code. Not cool dude, not cool." I love it.

The show gets so trashy and ridiculous in it's final weeks, but right now it's pure entertainment.

And little to no culture and intelligence. ;)

I'd love to tell you our thoughts on Jake the romantic pilot from Dallas or the guy with the creepy foot fetish, or Juan the metro charmer with no sense of man-code, or Wes the way-too-intense country singer, or the hilarious break-dancer that is so not able to get serious enough to try to win the woman, or the handsome Kiptyn, but.... there is no time.

Book Review: Death Comes for the Archbishop by Willa Cather

2009-05-22T05:00:00.001-07:00

Cathedral in Santa Fe built by the Bishop Cather wrote about
Originally uploaded by -robynw-

Death Comes for the Archbishop by Willa Cather really took me off guard. I, like many people, read My Antonia in school. I knew from that experience that Cather is a master word-smith, and truly paints a picture better than any other author I've ever read. She makes landscape come alive in a way that words aren't supposed to be able to do.

My Antonia fits Cather's life. Cather grew up in a small town in Nebraska, and My Antonia reflected that experience and was a melancholy, emotional coming of age story rooted in the world of immigrants in the Nebraskan prairie. The story flowed naturally out of her own past.

Because of that, Death Comes for the Archbishop really took me off guard. It's a story based on the life of the first Archbishop in New Mexico. It is a deeply Catholic novel, it is steeped in the world of the desert, Indian myth, and the history of the the southwest. It felt like a biography in story form - there is very little dressing up of the story, it is very matter-of-fact. I had to do some research on Cather's life to understand how a girl from the prairie could write about a world that was so far from her own experience. France, Catholicism, the southwest? How could she know enough to write a full novel about these things? It seems as though she was actually quite a researcher and a masterful journalist, and she really painted a great picture of the southwest through the eyes of a true historical character, a French Catholic Archbishop.

I was fascinated because I love historical fiction and this is from a period that I know very little about. The story starts just as New Mexico is made U.S. territory, and this French BishopLatour is assigned to the territory from his previous post in Mexico. He and his dearest friend, Father Vaillant , trek across the Gulf of Mexico and the desert to get to Santa Fe, and are there as their territory expands into Arizona and then up into Colorado when the gold rush hits. Cather gives you a peek into the world of the Hopi and Navajo Indians that the Bishop learns to respect despite their deeply ingrained animist beliefs. Kit Carson is a major character, and the desert is itself is very nearly a character as well.

It was really a fascinating book, but as I said, it almost felt more like a historical biography than a work of fiction. It isn't plot intensive, though it is beautiful. For me personally it wasfascinating to see how Cather portrayed the life of a missionary. My life as the child of missionaries was of course very different than these turn of the century Catholic priests, but there are still some shared experiences. I loved this passage, where the aged Bishop is contemplating returning home to France to die or staying in Santa Fe.

[Returning to France] seemed the natural thing to do, and he had given it grave consideration... But in the Old World he found himself homesick for the New. I twas a feeling he could not explain; a feeling that old age did not weigh so heavily on a man in New Mexico as in thePuy-de -Dome. He loved the towering peaks of his native mountains, the comeliness of the villages, the cleanness of the country-side, the beautiful lines and cloisters of his own college.Clermont was beautiful, - but he found himself sad there; his heart lay like a stone in his breast. There was too much past perhaps...

Just a few pages later the aged Bishop recognizes that his memory is changing.

He observed also that there was no longer any perspective in his memories. He remembered his winters with his cousins on the Mediterranean when he was a little boy, his student days in the Holy city, as clearly as he remembered the arrival of M.Molny and the building of his Cathedral. He was soon to have done with calendared time, and it had already ceased to count for him. He sat in the middle of his own consciousness; none of his former states of mind were lost or outgrown. They were all within reach of his hand, and all comprehensible

All in all, I'm quite impressed with Cather's range of writing ability. I really enjoyed Death Comes for the Archbishop, mostly because it was about a time and place I knew nothing about.

4/5 stars.

Al Trautwig's really interesting thoughts on "The Incident"

2009-05-21T05:00:00.000-07:00

It's very sad to not be blogging about Lost today. I'm still not quite ready for the next nine month waiting period before the last season. And I am definitely not ready for the last season to be over, because that will end a very special and treasured season for me. ;)

In any case, I am actually writing to pass on a link to this Al Trautwig's really interesting thoughts on "The Incident", Jacob and Fred (who he calls Esau). He's a video blogger and I was really intrigued by his theories. I can't embed the video, so click on the link.

Also, Lost and Gone Forever just posted his really insightful thoughts on "The Incident" and some great speculation about next season.

American Idol - Final Two - Kris and Adam!

2009-05-19T17:14:00.000-07:00

Live blogging here..
Isaac is voting for Adam and I'm voting for Kris, but probably neither of us will actually vote so in a way, our opinion doesn't matter one iota. However, I'm still writing!

Contestant Pick of songs from the season
First song is supposed to be one of the contestant's best performances of the season. Adam chooses Mad World, which was probably MY favorite of his performances because it was soft and tender. He's appealing to the masses here - the crowd that doesn't like his scream. Nice move.

Kris picks Ain't No Sunshine, which is also a pick for the masses. I liked Falling Slowly better, but this was truly beautiful, and the song where he first really stuck out to me as someone that could take a song and make it something new and beautiful.

Man, I just gotta say, I love Kris. LOVE his style.

Okay, Randy is wearing a plaid retro jacket, a checked purple and white shirt, and a polka-dotted tie. WHAT IN THE WORLD. Meanwhile, Paula looks like she stayed too long in the tanning machine, and her shirt reminds me of a lime popsicle.

Round one - Kris wins, but it's a close one.

Producer Picks:
Adam performs Change is Gonna Come. This is interesting because in my opinion it's different than anything he's done before. It is bluesy, almost southern gospel. He gets in a good long screech, though, and it fits the song. Seriously, this feels like a gospel choir performance except for the black nail polish. He is wearing a suit, though!

How hilarious is it that Adam totally avoided country music on country week, but managed to fit it in in the finale? It was great, as Randy says, "you can sing your face off!". I don't know what the judges are talking about though - this wasn't his best performance or interpretation. Not to say that it wasn't good, it's just that he's been phenomenal theo whole season, so I don't know how this particularly tops it.

Kris is singing something... I forget the name of it. I can sorta see why the producer picked it - it's a chill pop song, and they are dressing it up with the djembe. Kris does it well - but I often hate the producer and judges pick of songs, and I also hate the songs that they give the winner on their first cd. It all tends to be so cheesy and just... crap. Regardless of their voice. I felt like this song choice was that kind of a pick. Crap. He did alright, given the song choice.

Round two, Adam wins and I mentally lecture Simon Fuller.

Kara's Songs
*sigh*... I don't have a good feeling about this at all.
Adam is doing an intense tender song that will probably end in screams. Wait for it.... it's intensifying.... here it comes...
hey I heard a sour note! First I've heard from Adam all season. Maybe his voice is tired.
Wow, I was totally wrong. No scream. And I didn't like the song and found the entire performance uninteresting and probably one of Adam's worst of the season.
Way to go Kara.

I gotta say the start of Kris's song is boring.
Did he just forget a line or was it just paced funny?
He's singing better than Adam did, ironically, but it's more mountains and dreams and pink bunnies and butterflies (okay I lied about the last two).
I need to go listen to some Coldplay, I think. Something semi-depressing to conteract the cheez-whiz.
Way to go again, Kara.

Round Three leaves the contestants even and Kara being roasted over the coals.

Wow. that was a rather uninteresting show.
Who will win? I'm guessing Kris, mostly because the vast majority of people that liked Danny will probably vote Kris. I like Kris better but I hate the cds that Simon's record company puts out with the winners, so I almost hope he loses and gets to pick his own record deal.

Movie Reviews: Wolverine and Paul Blart - Mall Cop

2009-05-17T05:00:00.000-07:00

Well, a weekend away to celebrate Isaac getting through another semester of seminary meant that we got to see TWO movies in the theater (ok ok, so Paul Blart was at the dollar theater, still, it's a big screen!). The downside of the movie-viewing is that Isaac got to pick the movies, and he likes total guy movies. Well, I love the man and he deserved it, so I put up with it with no complaints.

In any case, these are my thoughts.

Paul Blart - Mall Cop
Dumb comedy. That pretty much says it all. Yes, there are some funny parts, but most of them were in the trailer. It was less of a guy comedy than a family comedy, which means it wasn't very crude (if I remember right). Isaac didn't even enjoy it that much. It's easy, safe watching, but it's really not clever or well-made.
2 out of 5 stars

Wolverine
Wolverine made up for the disappointment of Paul Blart. Isaac loved the crazy action and X-Men lore, and I thought it had a great plot and character development and was very well made. If you haven't seen the X-men series I wouldn't watch this one, because so many little references are meaningless without knowing the broader story. I'm a big fan of Hugh Jackman, and he was great. The beginning of the movie felt pretty rushed, and I wished we could have seen more from the early stages of Wolverine's life. Still, I thought the period that was focused on was super interesting.

However, I have to throw in this caveat. I have never read the X-men comics and I don't think Isaac has either. Everyone that knows the way the original story goes is infuriated by the movie. I can't claim to be able to speak to that at all. In my perspective, this is a good movie. Not great, but good.
4 out of 5 stars

Book Review: Walk Back the Cat

2009-05-15T05:00:00.000-07:00

I got this book (Walk Back the Cat by Pamela Ewen) via PaperbackSwap, and couldn't remember what it was about or who recommended it to me, which is really the best way to go into a book (or a movie, for that matter). No preconceptions.

After a couple of chapters I could see a polemic being set up between faith and the secular world, but it took me a while to figure out exactly which side the book was on because it just didn't have the feel of a typical Christian novel, at least not at first.

Actually, it was sort of strangely timely, because a lot of the tension in the book is surrounding whether or not faith in the supernatural makes sense (all woven into a good story), and I've been dealing with those questions a lot recently, as you can read here. It has a bit of the feel of "The DaVinci Code" without the crazy action, and in the end siding with faith instead of against it. All in all, it's a pretty good novel that I do recommend. It is reviewed well outside of the Christian community as well.

Now, stop reading here if you don't want spoilers or to engage in a discussion of theology.

Once I realized that this book was coming down on the side of faith, I was sort of puzzled by a few elements in it. First of all, one of the debates my friends and I got into in college was about apologetic methods - in other words, how people come to belief and how we guide them there. The two general sides are presuppositionalism and evidentialism. To put it briefly, evidentialism says that we argue from evidence and proof of facts lead to faith (i.e. "The Case for Christ" and "Evidence that Demands a Verdict") On the other side (where Isaac and I generally find ourselves), we say that though facts and reason for our beliefs to exist, rarely does anyone come to faith becomes of rational arguments. In the end we choose a presupposition - perhaps take a "leap of faith", regardless of what we believe. For Isaac in particular this follows his reformed theology, because he believes that no one believes until God first changes their heart.

In any case, Ewen comes down hard on the evidentialism side - she very clearly says that without proof, people lose faith. So - the novel goes on to attempt to show some proof for faith, and this is where I was really puzzled, because her proof is one I've never heard before, and so I actually thought that the novel would end up being against faith because I thought her proof was somewhat laughable. She centers the story around the Shroud of Turin, which I really knew nothing about, but it is an old relic that is said to be the burial cloth of Jesus. Ewen basically centers the book around the validity and proof of the cloth being the ACTUAL shroud of Jesus, and this then gives us confidence in the truth of our faith.

Wow... so that really surprised me. The author's note in the back says that all of the research on the shroud presented in the book is real research, which was really shocking. I've got to go do my own research now. The thing is, I really agree with what Ewen says in the book through the character of Priest Leo: the death and resurrection of Christ is the center and foundation of our faith, and without it, Christianity falls. But what I really question is 1) whether the Shroud of Turin is really viable and 2) that we actually need something like the Shroud of Turin to have the historicity of the death and resurrection of Christ be viable. I think we have... MUCH better arguments, so much so that I really see no need to see the Shroud as important. Ewen is a lawyer, so that she really thinks the Shroud is viable... I don't know. It's surprising.

Oh yeah, and the other thing that got me is that while most of the book was meant to be very realistic and a realistic story that could happen today, there's one story line from back in the time of Jesus that follows the Apostle Peter's niece during the death and resurrection of Christ. It got really weird and had the little girl fade through time and appear to a modern day character... and it is her appearance to him that ultimately is meant to prove the truth of the Shroud to him. What? It just felt so... weird. It was like, if you're going to try to PROVE the Shroud by hard evidence, it's sort of contradictory to then bring in a sort of supernatural vision to seal the deal - wouldn't these characters simply not believe in the supernatural? It felt awkward to me.

In any case, it was a very different type of Christian novel than I am used to. I think the author may be Catholic and that may explain why we think so differently about faith.

Lost Finale - The Incident

2009-05-14T11:18:00.000-07:00

But ... oh my gosh, there is a lot to talk about. What does it all mean?? I actually wrote this long post and posted it, and then it disappeared, and I got very angry and yelled at the computer. SO... this is an attempt to rehash it all really fast, because I don't have the energy to do it all again in detail. I wanted to discuss the first scene in detail because it's huge, so I put that at the end.

- Isaac and I totally called that Locke is really dead and that the new Locke is actually... some other guy. I'm going to copy James from TIME's Lostwatch and call him Fred. In any case, we are awesome.

- I was so annoyed with the teenage mood swings and decisions based on nothing that was going on with Jack, Kate, Sawyer, and Juliet. Please, people. Jack says that he had Kate and lost her, but is it really logical then to decide to blow everyone to smithereens with a bomb? I loved Miles' suggestion that they might be causing the exact incident they were supposedly trying to prevent, but it annoys me that the writers are acting like the characters aren't smart enough to at least consider that possibility.

- How funny was it that Rose and Bernard had been living peacefully with Vincent in the jungle for three years? Isaac loved it, and it sure seemed to me like a case of the producers browsing the net and realizing all the blogs were clambering to know where the two were and saying, "Oh yeah, we have to write them in somewhere."

- When Ilana came out of the cabin, she said that Jacob wasn't there and hadn't been in an long time, and that someone else had been living there. Umm.. does this mean that we can assume that when John Locke and others had encounters with Jacob in the cabin, it was actually someone else, probably Fred? Which would also then mean that the ghostly Christian Shepard is actually Fred, and that Fred has Claire, if she is still alive?

- It was John/Fred post-resurrection that gave Richard the compass to give to John and tell him that he had a purpose and that he'd have to die. So... Fred has manipulated John's life and death the whole time, and Locke was just a pawn....

- Fred/Locke made a comment that after he'd seen Jacob, they'd have to "deal with" the other Ajira passengers. That means he must KNOW that they are working for Jacob, and that perhaps is setting us up for a showdown next season. One blog suggested that it would be Fred/Locke, Ben, and Widmore vs.... everyone else. How awesome would that be? Locke and Ben are possibly the BEST actors on the show.

- What is UP with Jacob? He appears human (something I did not expect), but he jumps through time and places and has foreknowledge. It's strange to me that he has foreknowledge about the lives of our characters, because wouldn't that mean that he knew Locke would die? Did Jacob know about his own death?

- In his appearance in each of our Losties' back stories, Jacob intentionally touches each of them. Why? What is the significance of that?

- Funniest lines of the night
Locke to Ben: "Do you mind if I ask you a question?"
Ben: "I'm a Pisces"
and
Hurley: "Everything will be fine when Jack changes the past.... or the future... one of those."

- What happened when the bomb went off? Does everyone die? Are they blasted through time? I have NO CLUE what will happen with all of that.

- Apparently Alpert's answer to "What lies in the shadow of the statue" translates to "He whom we all serve.", which I guess is Jacob. I also totally called it that Alpert would be one of the "Shadow" group.

- Jacob's last words were "They're coming". Who? The shadow of the statue gang? The other group being blasted through time?

Really, Really Important Stuff
That very first scene on the beach with Jacob and Fred was CRUCIAL and really significant.

Think about that scene after watching this scene. You can click to about halfway through it to see where Locke begins to describe backgammon to Walt:

People, that scene was from THE PILOT. I've watched it many times since then, because from this point on it was clear that the show was setting up a juxtaposition of the light and the dark, a good side and a bad side, and a game or war between the two. We've never been sure WHO are the good and the bad. Was it the Losties and the Others? Was it the Others and the Dharma Initiative? Was it Widmore and Ben? I think this is our final answer - Jacob is the light, Fred is the dark. When Jacob and Fred are on the beach, Jacob is wearing white, and Fred is wearing black. It's fascinating to me that they mentioned ancient Mesopotamia in the trailer, and we didn't see any of the ancient stuff played out until four five seasons later!

The conversation between Jacob and Fred is super important, and I don't fully understand it yet. They are watching what we assume is the Black Rock, which apparently Jacob has brought to the island. They seem to be discussing more broadly what happens when humans come to the island.

Fred: "They come, they fight, they fight, they destroy, they corrupt. It always ends the same."
Jacob: "It only ends once. Anything that happens before that--it's just progress."

This is philosophy, which is one of the things I love about this show. It has depth and intelligence. Fred seems to be sort of anti-human. He doesn't like human presence on the island. He does SEEM to be right, though. It seems that each new group of people on the island does what our Losties have done - run around in circles being suspicious of everything and messing everything up while they try to fix things. They fight, kill, and destroy. It DOES seem to be ending the same.

Jacob, on the other hand, is... well.. I'm not totally sure. He's saying that all of this process of groups coming to the island is part of the process leading up to the end.... they are not individual things, it's all going somewhere, and apparently since he is manipulating things, it's going where HE wants it to go. My automatic thought was that Jacob is quite Darwinian - the idea of the evolutionary process of history seems to be there. Isaac thought of heilsgeschichte, which is a theological term that refers to God's formation of the grand meta-narrative of history as progressing to him, a grand story of salvation. Both of those things deal with the progression of history.

And... that leads me to the book that Jacob was reading when Locke fell to the ground behind him. It was so obviously displayed that the producers may as well have posted sign saying "NOTICE THIS BOOK!". The book was Flannery O'Conner's "Everything that Rises Must Converge". Now, I actually think the point was not the book itself but the title of the book, which O'Conner drew from a book by Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, who was a Jesuit priest and philosophy and scientist. Turns out that he was known for his belief in the progression of space, time, and humanity to its peak - Christ. The Church was upset with his process theology and the implication of his evolution, but he stayed within the Church and was insistent about the primacy of Christ. You can read a section of the book that O'Conner was quoting here. Here is the actual quote:

Followed to their conclusion the two paths must certainly end by coming together: for in the nature of things everything that is faith must rise, and everything that rises must converge.

So... what are the producers trying to say with this? It seems like they're saying that Jacob believes in the ultimate path of the progression of the island towards an ultimate GOOD. Everything that happens and has happened in that Lost world is for a reason and a part of the path to that ultimate purpose. I guess my question is, is Jacob a divine figure? What is the ultimate good that he is pushing the island towards?

Interesting, interesting stuff.

I LOVE this show, and I love that I am yet again at a place where I feel like I've learned a lot but I'm still so confused.

American Idol's incredibly amazing top three

2009-05-12T18:37:00.000-07:00

I got on the American Idol bandwagon late, and it seems like at the same time I started, a lot of people jumped off. As a result, I hardly have any friends that watch the show (sad). Therefore, no one is able to sympathize with my total awe at the top three gentlemen of American Ido this season. I am REALLY impressed by our top three, and they are all so different.

So - to summarize, we have one gay flamboyant guy with an absolutely incredible voice who never makes a mistake but rocks out in a way that blogging moms don't tend to appreciate.
Adam:

Then we have a likable raspy-voiced bluesy crooner with a heart-rending story of his wife's death and some bad dancing.
Danny:
(note - this video totally doesn't show Danny's bluesy raspy side, so go to this one if you want to see his other side: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfpPDaqeeRc)

And finally, we have a quiet mannered newlywed cutie-pie that sings like a cross between Jason Mraz and John Mayer and plays some amazing guitar and piano.
Kris

So who are the top two? Oh man, I think my boy Kris is going home, which I think I'm okay with because I still think he'll go far.

A few notes from tonight's episode:

-The judges' bickering is cute sometimes, other times it's just flat annoying and just shouts narcissism. Tonight it was annoying. I wanted to pull Kara's face out of the screen and point her eyes at mine the way you do when you're lecturing a little kid, and firmly say, "SHUT UP."

-I thought it was interesting to hear Ryan repeatedly say that Kris has been a quiet, humble contestant. I have also heard other people say that a quiet joy radiates out of him, and I agree. To me, his faith is apparent in his demeanor and attitude, and I love it.

-Simon name-dropping Bono's personal contact with him sort of cracked me up. Oh, and by the way, I love "One" and I find it it interesting to see how people try to interpret Bono's lyrics

-I think Danny's version of "You are so Beautiful" was indeed beautiful and probably sent all of the middle-aged women into a hot flash, but for me it brought back vivid memories of Stephen Crafts in 4th grade singing it to a mortified Clare.

-Yeah baby, I LOVE what Kris did to Kanye's "Heartless", and it just shows once again why I love his style.

-Did anyone else see the last wide shot of the audience and the stage, and notice that on the judge's stage Kara was trying to get out of her chair and almost fell off? Hilarious.

UPDATE:

I was youtubing clips from the contestant's hometown visits because I will miss seeing the recaps tomorrow. I loved this clip that I found of Kris leading "God of this City" by Chris Tomlin at his church:

I love this... it's beautiful

2009-05-10T20:29:00.001-07:00

John Locke as a Christ-type metaphor

2009-05-08T05:00:00.000-07:00

Sarah Eliza asked after my post yesterday what Christ-metaphors I'd seen, and my response was so long I had to just start a new post.

I think the clearest, boldest example of Locke being compared to Christ was Locke's message (apparently to himself) that he would have to die in order to save the island and the people. Christian Shepherd led John's battered and dying body to the place where he turned the wheel - so like the Christ's walk to Golgotha. And then of course... he rose again.

In "The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham" there's a striking scene where John's arms are outstretched in the shape of a cross before Ben kills him and Ben is kneeling in front of him - clearly a picture of Christ.

Locke's body is taken back to the island on flight 3:16 - a reference to John 3:16, "For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten Son".

In addition Locke's mom went crazy and claimed she was a virgin..

Most relevant is Ben's conversation with Jack (the prototype of a skeptic) in the Lampost station (which is inside a church), in which Ben is characteristically evasive and talks about doubting Thomas.

"BEN: Thomas, the Apostle. When Jesus wanted to return to Judea, knowing that he probably would be murdered there, Thomas said to the others, "Let us all go that we might die with him." But Thomas was not remembered for this bravery. His claim to fame came later [pauses] when he refused to acknowledge the resurrection. He just couldn't wrap his mind around it. The story goes that he needed to touch Jesus' wounds to be convinced.
JACK: So, was he?
BEN: Of course he was. We're all convinced sooner or later Jack."

I wrote this right after that episode: "Well, if that is the metaphor we're running on, and Jack is doubting Thomas, then is John Locke the dying savior? Apparently, considering this week Locke is suddenly alive again on the island after his death in real-time."

I loved this comment from Time.com's Lostwatch about Locke's agonizing, doubt-filled approach to his own death:

"I was going to write that this undermines the Christ parallels that some have drawn for Locke, but thinking about it, it makes him more Christlike--in the sense that you can feel him wishing, if I remember my Gospels correctly, that this cup could pass from him. Faith for him isn't some Zen-like impermeable armor. It's an ill-fitting burial suit. Faith is hard, and O'Quinn's every-nerve-ending-exposed performance shows us that. You can feel every hurt, from the physical pain to his heartbreak over Helen."

Lost - so we're following the leader, but who IS he?

2009-05-07T08:34:00.001-07:00

Wow - what a week. Stick with me here for a minute... I think this is big. If you want to skip my theorizing, my thoughts on this episode are at the bottom of the post.

Man of Science, Man of Faith is back?
TIME's Lost commentary noted that this episode brought us back around to the comparison of Jack and John Locke as a man of science vs. a man of faith.Ultimately Jack believes in Daniel's science and the ability to change how things happened.

On the other hand, Locke believes in the island, fate, etc. He's still a man of faith.

Or is he? I actually think TIME's analysis is off. Jack may believe in science, but he's sort of blindly believing a scientist who may or may not be crazy and know what he's talking about. Jack is, in my opinion, a man of faith... in science. Without good basis. Hmm... sounds familiar.

Who IS Locke and what is his goal?
And then there's Locke. He is not just a man of faith, as he was portrayed in the first few seasons. As he said, he has a purpose now. He is the leader. And... in a way, when he says he's off to kill Jacob, in the eyes of the people who have believed in Jacob, Locke is about to in essence kill their god. He's sort of the antithesis to a man of faith because he evidently is going to take down the element that I think Ben and Richard have used to control people so long. They have used fear to keep the people superstitiously following their orders. Locke is about to directly address this Jacob - and I bet that he'll show it's all a fraud.

So, in a sense, John Locke is that "man of science" guy. He's about to do away with blind belief.

However, if god (in Lost) were embodied and walking around looking like one of us, then him cutting down blind belief and acting with purpose would all just be him acting on what he KNOWS to be true, because he knows himself. Right? That is what I think "Locke" is doing right now. I think that he is the monster. I don't believe he's Locke at all, I believe it's the Monster in Locke's body. Click on the link to read more about that theory, which I wrote several weeks ago.

In any case, that's why I think the writers have so heavily leaned on the Christ metaphors and comparisons for Locke this season - because they know that he, like Jesus, would soon be the island "god" embodied and walking among the people as one of them. Not at all an actually Christian plot development, it's just a metaphor that hints and foreshadows using similarities in my Christian faith. It's interesting, because I think the monster will end up being real in the show, not some made up gimmick. And, speaking of Christian metaphors, one commenter mentioned that this week sure looked like Locke was Moses leading the Exodus, with Alpert as Aaron, who will be revealed as the guy that leads the people to worship false gods. Interesting, eh?

So - to lay it out, I think that within Lost:
-The monster is a real, mythical, god-like figure that actually had power and control.
- The monstor has taken over Locke's body, and is using Him to influence what happens
- Science is still true, it still describes what happens with time, and explains the unique properties of the island, and people can use it, but it can't control, it simply describes.

What I don't know:
Who is Richard Alpert and how does he relate to the island and the monster?
Ultimately, can the past be changed....i.e. is there some element of free will?

Best moment of last night:
Dr. Chang quizzing Hurley to see if he's from the future. Hilarious.

Oh, and P.S, this reminded me all over again why Jack has always been one of my least favorite characters and I have NEVER liked the romance between him and Kate. He's never been emotionally open, connected, and stable with Kate. Jerk. She should've stuck with Sawyer.

That said... poor Juliet. The past few weeks I've developed sympathy for her. She seems to think that as long as Kate is around, she can't keep Sawyer. Girl, start fighting for him if you really care!

American Idol Top 4 - Rock Week

2009-05-05T18:34:00.001-07:00

Kris, Danny, Slash, Allison, Adam.
Originally uploaded by mus'inthelambchop(: {rip chase}

Hmm... can we just go ahead and call this Adam Lambert week?

And, while we're at it, add the tag line, "so not Kacie's kind of music".

Apparently the best performance by a clear mile was Adams, but I didn't enjoy a moment of it.

I hate hard rock.

I mean, I even hated every moment of the feature on Slash, the mentor this week. Boo hiss. This is a bad week all around for me.

Adam-
Adam pulls off a flawless rock performance. He doesn't have to be overly creative or push the envelope because this IS his style, and he does it perfectly. It is hard, angry, and I hate it. What will this do for him, though? I get the feeling that the Idol audience is heavy on the mom and kids side, and they'd tend to be more like me and be less enthused by a hard rock show.

In fact, the comments from the judges only increased my dislike, because them emphasized that Adam is awesome in the Nine Inch Nails/Led Zepplin arena. Because I have no desire to add even one hit song to the radio in this genre, I now am pretty convinced that I do NOT want Adam to win, simply because I don't like his musical style, though I still love his voice and don't mind his scream when it's in a non-rock song.

side-note: Why does Paula clap like a seal? Is it her ginourmous bling-bling rings from her signature jewelry line that keep her fingers from actually meeting when she claps?

Alison -
I like Alison, and this is also her style. I prefer her song to Adam's, because it has more softness to it. I agree that while she may seem nervous before and after performances, when she steps up to the mic she transforms into an accomplished performer - it's amazing to see.

Duet by Kris and Danny -
Hmm. This song isn't bad, and the vocals aren't bad, they just look like they are having to concentrate on every moment in order to get it right. It isn't polished or natural. Kris is definitely out of his league in the rock genre. I wonder if these two get along? I would hope so, but they look strained with each other, and apparently had a hard time finding a song for the two of them. The harmony WAS nice, though, and I must say that I rather like Danny singing rock. It's less cheesy than his pop performances.

Kris -
Well, I am biased towards Kris's performance both because I am by now a solid Kris fan, but also because I much prefer softer rock like this one (Come Together by the Beatles) than the ear-splitting stuff. Still.... in comparison to the other performances, this is the first week where Kris's vocal limitations REALLY make a contrast. And... Kris looks sad or sobered or something. Is he just nervous?

Ice for lunch? What in the world?

Danny -
I like Danny singing rock, but unfortunately compared to Alison and Adam, he just can't PERFORM rock. He doesn't have the persona. He is too gentle and happy, and his dancing is so bad... He is sort of the exact opposite of Adam's persona.
... and then Danny screams the last note, and it is near animalistic. I don't know if it's off key, but this just shows why Adam's scream is so amazing - Adam can scream musically. I've never really heard anything like it. Danny has a fantastic voice, but his scream.... was horrifying.

Adam and Alison duet -
Yay, this is actually my favorite performance of the night, because while Adam's song may have been good, it was hard and cold. This was FUN. They are awesome together, their voices and style just complement each other, and their smiles betray that they are absolutely loving it. Adam really brings it out of Alison - she really seemed older during that performance.

This will be interesting.

If we are voting based on the performances alone, we should be kicking of Kris... but please no! Personally I want Danny gone, but I still think he's popular. I just have a sick feeling that Alison might beat out Kris because of her fantastic performances tonight. Dang it, why did the judges use their save on Matt? This is the week we really need it!

So - this is my official plea - remember what it's like when we're not singing rock!

Interpreter of Maladies - Jhumpa Lahiri

2009-05-01T16:40:00.001-07:00

Interpreter of Maladies
Originally uploaded by Lisaboly

Rating: 4/5

I just finished Jhumpa Lahiri's "Interpreter of Maladies". It actually wasn't the shiny Pulitzer Prize sticker on the front of the book that initially got my attention - it was some one's blog that said that this book was great for anyone that struggled to find a place to belong.

I thought.... this is the book for me!

I was a little disappointed because I expected a novel and this is actually a book of short stories. They were great short stories though. Lahiri is also the author of "The Namesake", which is a movie that I LOVE, but I haven't read the book.

All of Lahiri's stories in this book also deal with an Indian identity in some ways. A few stories were set totally within the Indian culture, but most dealt with immigration and the cultural identity of Indians in American and the UK. Lahiri seamlessly weaves each story together with a different dynamic. One story would have to do with an arranged marriage of two Indian Americans in America. One tells of an Americanized family returning as tourists to India. Another looks through the eyes of a young Indian-American girl at a man studying in the US with his family left in war-torn Bangladesh. Then there's a little white boy who is watching a newly arrived woman adjust to life in the US.

Each story weaves intense family, marriage, and generational dynamics on the tapestry of Indian culture, showing the tension of change and tradition, love and pain. Lahiri's stories are the kind that you really can't quote because the point is illustrated so completely by the story itself that it is never stated - it is just played out before your eyes. That is true fiction.

Lost Thoughts - Is it all determined, or can "the variables" changethings?

2009-05-01T11:10:00.001-07:00

daniel-faraday_l
Originally uploaded by GoatimusPrime

What a fantastic episode this week of Lost was. I watched it a day late, but the benefit of that is that I could immediately read all the other Lost bloggers' thoughts on the episode.

This week was mostly Farraday. We now know Widmore is his dad, that Ellie Hawking pushed him to focus on science at the expense of everything else, that not only is Theresa hurt in the time-travel experiments that he does at Oxford, he himself begins losing his short-term memory. Ellie Hawking manipulates him into going to the island, saying it would make her proud and that he would be healed. He eventually leaves the island in the 70's to get to Ann Arbor and continue experiments, and he comes back to find his mother and attempt to change the incident and stop the spiral of events that leads to the crash of flight 815.

That is really what was interesting. Up until now, the producers and the message portrayed on the episodes themselves is that "what happened, happened." You can't change it. It's been a deterministic, at times fatalistic mentality in this past season. The characters react to the thing that happen, but they can't really change things, at least not big things.

Farraday thinks this is NOT true. He says that maybe anything can happen because the variable in the constant of time is the free will of thinking people. Hmm. As someone with a background in theology, it of course just brings up the Calvinism and Arminianism debate.

The question is, where does the end of the episode leave us? The other bloggers disagreed on this. My sense was that Farraday really was dead, and therefore, despite his best efforts, he couldn't change his own future, or that of what would happen on the island. And perhaps, like Sayid, by his very attempts he manages to set into motion the exact things he was trying to change or stop. I think the episode just reinforced that the future can't be changed. What do you think?

Now, I totally can't claim these thoughts, but these are some great thoughts and theories from some great Lost bloggers.

Everyday Mom has a great theory about why, for the first time, Ellie has no idea what will happen next.

"I am thinking that after she shot Daniel, Ellie took his journal that was stuffed inside his shirt. This, then, gave her all of the information that she needed to understand time travel and all of the events that were supposed to happen in her future son's life. That is why she was so adamant that even as a child he needed to put his scientific brain to its best use.This also would explain why she made the statement that for the first time in her life she didn't know what was going to happen next. Up until the point that Daniel died, she had all of that information spelled out for her in his journal. But when he died, the journal ended.So, the big question now is whether the Oceanic 6 really will be able to change the past by stopping the leak in the power source and reventing their own plane from crashing in the future. And if they are able to do this, what will that mean for them?"

Devastate Boredom disagrees, and doesn't believe Ellie actually knew she was going to shoot Daniel. She thinks that things are shifting, bit by bit.

I don't believe Eloise-in-the-present knew she shot Daniel. She tells Widmore that, having sent Jack, Kate, et al, back in time, she doesn't know what will happen now. Dan hops a sub back to the island from Ann Arbor *because* she sent them back in time and he saw the photo, and the whole hydrogen bomb we-can-change-the-past thing goes from there. I don't think that the Eloise in the present knows that she shot him in the past. So, is the present shifting for Eloise even as we watch? As she drives away in the taxi, and simultaneously in Daniel's present he's being shot, is she suddenly aware of it as a memory? I'm thinking of Desmond encountering Daniel in the past, and waking up suddenly remembering it... Same thing, or no?

Rocks in my Dryer speculates that the 815 gang doesn't REALLY want to stop the plane crash.

Furthermore, would any of our Oceanic 815 friends really want for that plane to have gone safely on to Los Angeles? Think about it. If the crash never happened, Jack and Kate would never have met, and Kate would be on her way to prison. Jin and Sun would be back in their dysfunctional marriage. Rose would have cancer. John would be in a wheelchair. I hope, at some point in next week's episode, Jack realizes this. I hope he looks at Kate and says, "Wait a minute, I don't want to prevent the plane crash. Because if the only way I can know you is to have gone through grungy Hostiles and flaming arrows and creepy cabins and undead fathers and talking birds, then sweetheart, I'd do it all over again in continuous time-loop fashion for all eternity." THAT is how you woo a woman, Jack.
But if Daniel is right and they do change the past, wouldn't that be a curious final episode? Can you imagine watching Oceanic 815 touching down in LA, and watching Jack, Kate, John, Sawyer and all the rest simply disembarking quietly, as total strangers? Somehow that seems like a terribly unsatisfying ending, and I hope the writers don't do that to us.

My other question is - Ellie Hawking does so much to keep Farraday on track to fulfill his destiny... simply so that he does what she knows he did? Is she worried that if he DOESN'T do it, then something would be off-kilter? Because really, if what happens happens, then she wouldn't have to try to make it happen... it just would. I don't really understand her motivation. Both she and Widmore mentioned the sacrifices they have made with great emotion - what are they sacrificing for? The future of the island? The salvation of its inhabitants? Their own personal desire to take control and get back on the island?

Edit - one more question. Why doesn't Richard recognize Faraday? Didn't he meet him in the .. umm... 50's?

American Idol - Top 5 - Rat Pack Week

2009-04-28T18:29:00.000-07:00

So it's Rat Pack week. It just so happens that I love the Rat Pack and old school jazz. It's in the family - my grampa played his way through college on a sax, and my dad did the same with a clarinet. The smooth classics of Sinatra and Dean Martin are often playing on mp3 player.

So... who is the mentor this week? Jamie Foxx?? Just as I was writing down "yeah, he's fun but he's even less qualified than" ... and at that moment Idol listed all of Jaimie's musical achievements and then I felt like an idiot. I had no clue he was big in the music world. What can I say. I know more about the Rat Pack than the current hits. In any case, Jamie is hilarious and enthusiastic.

1. Kris Allen
Hah, Kris looks like a preacher-boy in his suit.
Jamie surprisingly absolutely loves Kris, and Kris makes the comment that he is the most vocally limited in the competition. I think that's true and I'm glad he can look honestly at his situation. The thing about him is that he has his style, he knows exactly how to do really well within it, and his style is EXACTLY my style. I love him.
I loved this performance as well - of the whole night, it is the most true to the Rat Pack style. I am surprised at how the judges fawn over him, but whatev. I love him.

2. Alison
Alison just turned 17! She can't go home on her birthday week!
I loved when Jamie asked her about her age and she joked that she was five - I gotta steal that reaction since I get comments about my age all the time.
Anyways, Alison is in danger this week, so this better be good.
It was - the is a good style for her voice, she has a mature, big voice and she totally could have sung with Sinatra. It was great.

3. Matt
Every week when Matt walks up Isaac and I have a conversation about the prominent mole on his forehead.
Every week Matt looks nervous and insecure.
I loved his voice in the clip they showed of him singing with Jamie.
I loved the performance, though it did have a few iffy moments. I had to check Isaac's response because he generally really doesn't like Matt. He says: "It's ai't".
It was good... Matt does just need to start owning it and being FUN and confident.... but he's about to lose that chance.
Randy sucks tonight - I disagree with everything he's saying.

4. Danny
Was that not hilarious when Jamie got all up in Danny's face? So awkward.
Danny is actually close to the bottom of my likability list right now. I thought his performance was mostly forgettable. I liked the end, but still... I'm just sort of unimpressed by him.

Kara says to Danny, "You got SWAG tonight"
Dictionary.com
–noun "a suspended wreath, garland, drapery, or the like, fastened up at or near each end and hanging down in the middle; festoon."

I'm just sayin'.

5. Adam
Isaac is super excited because all of the other contestants have gone with a pretty standard bluesy ballad tonight, and he wants Adam to shake it up. Adam alternates between great and amazing, and we are excited to see which it is tonight.
I say it's great. I love Michael Buble's version of "Feelin' Good" and Adam pulls from him at times. I actually think he could have put MORE rock into it, but it was still great of course, and hilariously showy... the strut down the stairs in the white tuxedo.... hah!
He holds a note for a disgustingly long period of time and of course adds in one scream.
He is SUCH a performer.
Where Kris is exactly my style, Adam is exactly Isaac's style, and Isaac can hardly stay in his seat for the excitement.

_______________________________________

Our final five are all amazing. Who is going home?
Umm... maybe Matt, but I think Alison could be in danger too. I was hoping Danny would be too but the judges drooled over him enough to keep him safe. I'm a little worried about Kris since he sang first and Simon was more harsh with him, so I voted repeatedly. :)

My favorites:
1. Kris
2. Adam
3. Alison

Favorite Movies of 2008

2009-04-27T06:00:00.000-07:00

Last week I wrote about my favorite movies of 2007. These are my favorites from this past year, though they are slightly mixed up, since I saw some in the theater and some I watched late. I think my 2007 movies include several that are actually 2008. I thought 2007 was a fantastic year in the movie industry, and 2008 isn't quite as good, though I still have my favorites. What do you all think? Any comments on those I haven't seen? Any categorizations that you totally disagree with?

I totally agree with the Academy Awards that I have seen so far - Slumdog Millionaire was amazing and Heath Ledger was stunning in Dark Knight. I haven't seen the rest yet.

Excellent Movies

Slumdog Millionaire
The Dark Knight
Australia
21
Iron Man
The Chronicles of Narnia - Prince Caspian
Wall-E
Valkyrie
Hancock
In The Valley of Elah
Kung Fu Panda

Good Movies

The Duchess - so sad!
Mama Mia - a girly musical
Wanted
Get Smart - never saw the original TV show so it wasn't as funny to me
Cloverfield - artsy fartsy flick
The Other Boleyn Girl - sex and scandal
In Bruges - SUCH a weird movie. Violent

Didn't like them

10,000 BC
The Happening
Quantum of Solace (ok, this should probably be in the good list, but the last Bond movie set up such high expectations that this one really flopped in my mind)
W.

Want to see:

The Changeling
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Frost/Nixon
The Boy in the Striped Pajamas
Milk
The Reader
Revolutionary Road
The Secret Life of Bees
Seven Pounds
Defiance

Adios, Ben Walanka!

2009-04-26T14:57:00.001-07:00

Several weeks ago I wrote about how I know Ben Walanka, a contestant on this year's Hell's Kitchen.

It was surreal, I was seeing ads on TV for the show and I kept thinking, "Man, that guy's face in the background really looks like Ben from the Club at the Symphony Center that I worked with a few times..."

So, when the show came on one night I flipped over and sure enough, it actually WAS Ben from the Club! Crazy. Ben made it to the final four and went home this week - Ben, if you're reading this, I was sad to see you go! I hope it was great entertainment and that it'll give you a boost in your career.

It is SO strange to watch someone I actually know on a reality TV show. I would just shake my head the whole time I watched because it felt so surreal. I know Gordon Ramsey (Hell's Kitchen's head chef) is intentionally sensational with his yelling and anger, but I found the insane pressure of their kitchen to actually be completely realistic to what the busiest part of the kitchen rush looks like. I felt like I was just watching a Friday night rush in Ben's kitchen rather than watching TV, which is just weird. Ben has such a fun, easy-going personality, and I absolutely think half of his snarky comments and attitude were put on because he was playing to what the audience of Hell's Kitchen is looking for. Smart contestant!

Some of the comments Ben made I have actually heard him make in person, and the look of shock and horror when he realized a horrible mistake was just made (by him or one of the other contestants) were so familiar. One little mistake can turn an evening's service into a disaster, particularly if the mistake is made to a big-shot guest (and at the Club at the Symphony center, everyone is a big-shot).

Hell's Kitchen's depiction of the egos of the chefs and the military-like ranking and required submission are also pretty accurate. The world of fine-dining kitchens is crazy, people. Hell's Kitchen really isn't about the food at all, it's about the pressure of the kitchen. In that respect, it's right on.

Here's an interview with Ben from a little earlier in the show.

PS - a friend of mine and some blog entries about the show both made the very valid point that it's very strange that so many chefs smoke. It dulls your taste buds, so it seems like a ridiculous thing to do. However, just about EVERY chef I know smokes - I think partly because of the pressure of the kitchen. It's almost a nervous habit.

I watched the 2009 Dove Awards

2009-04-24T05:28:00.000-07:00

Last night I watched the Dove awards... or at least I watched part of the Dove awards. I thought... hey... I hardly follow the Christian music news anymore, so this should be interesting...

It was cringe-worthy at times with the production and staging and hosting.... I'm used to watching American Idol and this was just not as well done at all.... and American Idol has their own regular goofs. It just felt...awkward.

I was also struck by how little has changed in the Christian music scene. Is it just the Dove Awards, or is it really true that half of the big shots are the exact same big shots that came out when I was in high school or before? I mean, Steven Curtis Chapman

Michael W. Smith
Third Day

Lisa Kimmey from Out of Eden
Rebecca St. James

Kirk Franklin (who I remember singing to on a beach trip my sophomore year of HS)

Natalie Grant (and to her left... Brian from the Backstreet Boys... hilarious)

Toby Mac from DC Talk

... and worst of all... Sandi Patti??

And the irony is that I checked flikr for photos and most of these are from '06, but they were the same people on stage in '09. Yeah, it was kind of shocking - why are the same people big that were big 15 years ago? Some of them I do still enjoy listening to (ie Third Day) and SCC and Michael W. have both aged very well.... but surely there's some fresh blood in the CCM scene that deserve to win a few awards? Actually, I know there is - I have some indie Christian stuff that I love, and they were totally not represented at all.

That's sort of what bothers me - the fact that it's such an industry, so marketed.... it feels fake. And it feels like the people that are outside of the industry, they're just ignored.

There were a few people up there that I have been impressed by, and a handful that I've never heard of. Brandon Heath, for instance. Isaac commented that that was the first song that was played that Isaac liked and didn't even know what Christian. I like his style...

It was just interesting to see the difference between some of the people that stepped on stage. There were some that just struck me as being distinctly different - there was an air of gentleness and humility, and they had a different sort of way of reacting to the award and a different way of talking about their faith. Those people were encouraging.

I do listen to Chris Tomlin, who looks like he fake tans, he's really... orange hued.

Then... you gotta love this David Crowder. I don't listen to his music, but I just love that he perpetually looks like he's got his finger stuck in a light socket.

What do ya'll think? Have you found any new Christian stuff that you liked? I know people are talking about Phil Wickham, who I've never listened to. I've discovered Over the Rhine and Derek Webb recently... and Sara Groves is an acquired taste that I am acquiring. Andrew Peterson .... I didn't see any of those people at the awards, and they went totally unmentioned.

American Idol - Top 7 (again) - Disco Week

2009-04-21T18:44:00.000-07:00

I wasn't looking forward to Disco week as I am generally uninterested in disco music and thought it would be a disaster for most of the contestants. As with country week, it pulled off mostly by transforming disco songs into other styles.

1) Lil - I'm Every Woman
Yikes, skin tight outfit. Not a fan, but I like the hair. She is peppy and fun but I am past her style, which is simply to mold exactly to whatever song she's singing. It's about three weeks past time for her to go home.

2) Kris Allen - She Works Hard for the Money
Christian boy skirts around saying directly that the song is about a prostitute, and that cracks me up. Anyways, I loved the song. Kris sings MY kind of music exactly, and so even though I think Adam, Danny, and Alison all have better voices, I'm lovin' him. His bluesy, jazzy pop is tender and emotional and as Randy says, he knows who he is and performs well. Yay Kris!

3) Danny Gokey - September
Hmm... as Kris continues to rise in my estimation, Danny continues to fall. He has a great voice and perfect pitch, but his style is so cheesy/bubbly... I don't know how to pin it down, but I just don't particularly like it, and I find most of his spot-on performances forgettable. His best are the tender, soft songs, and what I connect with the least are his dancy numbers. He's still so fun as a person, but I like him less and less as a performer.

4) Alison Iraheta - Hot Stuff
Yay, Alison is back! Isaac and I were early fans of her amazing voice, but the past few weeks just haven't been as interesting. This week I loved her, she was fun and showcased her incredible deep voice. Unlike the judges, we actually liked the arrangement.

5) Adam Lambert - If I Can't Have You
He was amazing - is anyone surprised? I loved the suit and it was a good idea to go back and prove again that he can do soft and tender, not just powerhouse screaming. He can. He does it well. Paula cried (she's ridiculous). He is SUCH a performer - he makes it riveting every time, even if you don't like his style.

6) Matt Giraud - Stayin' Alive
I was glad the judges saved Matt. I really like him and his style, he's just not consistent. Paula was right on (for once) when she said he either gets a strike or a gutter ball each week, no in between. I actually liked this performance and I love his funky side - yet again it was sort of like Blake Lewis. The judges didn't like it.... I have a feelin' he's goin home.

7) Anoop Desai - ?? (Missed the song name)
Wow, 'Noop Dog grew scruff! For the first time he doesn't look like a frat boy. I said he sort of looks gay but Isaac disagreed. In any case, I like it. He sings another soft ballad but boy, it really does highlight his smooth voice. His mom is adorable when she poo-pooed Simon's critique. Simon totally slams Anoop after the rest of the judges compliment him... hmm. What do you all think?

So - two people go home this week. I bet it's Matt and Lil.... but I think Anoop could be in there too. I hope the rest are not in danger. After this week it's going to get intense!

Favs of the week:
Kris
Adam
Alison

Favorite movies of 2007

2009-04-21T10:26:00.000-07:00

As I continue to clear out my old blog I am reposting some things, and one of the old lists that deserved recycling is this list of my favorite movies from 2007. I think I'll follow up next week with a list of my favorite movies of 2008, but it won't be quite as long!

Here are my reposted thoughts:
So... I have been wanting to write about movies I liked this year, so I looked up a few lists "best movies of 2007", and ended up completely blown away at how fantastic the last year and a half has been for movies. I don't usually see so many movies in a year that I really love. Actually I've probably watched more movies this year then ever before, thanks to both Isaac and I having nights off, not knowing anyone in Dallas, and subscribing to blockbuster online (great deal). I made a list of movies I enjoyed in a sort of general order, but even the ones towards the end were enjoyable, they just weren't as amazing as the top. I am NOT rating them for quality, just for how much I liked them.

My personal tastes lean towards drama. I also love action IF it has enough drama in it as well. I like kids movies if they are clever, and comedies only if they have intelligent humor. I definitely can't stand dumb guy movies. I've noted if I remember there being a lot of sex or violence.

So... without further ado,

Kacie's List of 36 Recent Favorite Movies

The Namesake (awesome... exactly MY kind of movie)
God Grew Tired of Us (amazing documentary)
Atonement (sex)
3:10 to Yuma (violent)
Charlie Wilson’s War (nudity)
Casino Royale (sex and violence)
American Gangster (all around R-rated for a reason!)
Hot Fuzz (violent comedy)
No Country for Old Men (violent)
21
P.S., I Love You (tear-jerker)
Stardust (family movie with plenty of innuendo)
Ratatouille (kids movie)
Elizabeth: The Golden Age
Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
Bourne Ultimatum (violent)
Rescue Dawn
Ocean’s 13
Surf’s Up (kids movie)
August Rush (family movie)
Kite Runner
Rendition (violent)
A Mighty Heart
I Am Legend
Into the Wild
The Good Shepherd
Amazing Grace
Juno
Pan’s Labyrinth (kids story but very dark)
Once
Shooter
In the Valley of Elah
Hairspray
Waitress (sex)
No Reservations (family movie)
Miss Potter (family movie)
The Kingdom (violence)

Particular disappointments that I expected to be good were:

La Vie En Rose
The Assasination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
Enchanted
Sweeny Todd (just too dark, too bloody, too much for me)
Michael Clayton
There Will Be Blood (this had potential, but was too obscure for me)
You Kill Me
Beowolf

In the process I looked up the Oscars for last year and decided if I agreed or not. The big one, of course, is best picture. They nominated Atonement, which I did love and did think deserved the nomination. Also Juno, which I liked but didn't think deserved Best Picture, and No Country For Old Men, which was well deserving of their win. I disagree with Michael Clayton... I totally didn't get why that one got so many nominations. It was a decent movie, but only that. Not a great one. There Will be Blood was beautiful and stirring, so I get why it was nominated - it was very well done. It was just also dark and obscure, so I couldn't put it on the list of enjoyable movies.

Hurley has a blog!

2009-04-20T11:30:00.000-07:00

http://dispatchesfromtheisland.blogspot.com/

Yes. Hurley, or Jorge Garcia, has a personal blog. It sure sounds like in real life he is exactly what his character is like on the show (other than that crazy, talks to dead people part!). He uses phrases like "c'mon man" and "dude", and write about mundane things hilariously, including his tiny crop from his garden, spray can pancakes, his dog, and sometimes funny things from the Lost set. I'm almost positive it's really his site, given the personal photos and photos of things like - a rotting avacado inside the fridge of his trailor on the Lost set. Why would a ghost writer write that?

Oh, and he's apparently a sci-fi fan, so I wonder if he actually contributed to his own speech about Star Wars in the last episode.

Here's a random story he told last Monday:

And just my luck I was "randomly selected for a secondary screening."
Let me tell you the LAST thing I want to hear when some dude is patting me
down is,
"Are you the guy from LOST?"
C'mon man. Is this really the
time or the place? Thanks for making "randomly selected" feel a lot less
"random."

Jorge and his girlfriend

Book Review: A Day in the life of Ivan Denisovich

2009-04-18T06:00:00.000-07:00

I finished "A Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich" by Solzhenitsyn. It's a very short book but this is the third time I've tried to read it. Every time it has been captivating, but the first time I lost the book and the second time I left the city whose library I was borrowing the book from.

Russian writing is interesting. I wonder if American writing has such a unique overall tone to it? Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, Solzhenitsyn.... to me they all have a similar way of writing that is much darker than American writings. The other day Amy mentioned that in general she doesn't like Brit Lit because of how stiff it is. For a minute I disagreed... mostly because I love British literature, but after thinking about it I had to agree (not with her dislike but with their stiffness). Stiff isn't necessarily bad, it just reflects a culture. British literature tends to be very structured and have a bit of an impersonal tone to it. Some prefer it, some don't. I wonder if Russian literature reflects the Russian personality and culture as well. To me, Russian writing is amazingly deep but also incredibly pessimistic. They are philosophical to a fault, taken up with monotony, sort of spontaneously passionate, and very rarely joyful. They understand the complexity of emotions and relationships but their writing is rarely FUN.... it's heavy.

A Day In the Life is amazing because it is a day in the life of a prisoner in a work camp in Siberia (I think). It is unique because Solzhenitsyn himself spent years in a prison camp FOR his writing, so he is writing with a personal perspective of what it is like to live a day amidst years of painful monotony and little hope of justice. Of course, that day is incredibly monotonous and yet the author manages to plumb the depths of the mind and emotions of the prisoner throughout the day. At the end of the book I put it down and decided it was a book about life, and life to the fullest. Even amidst the camp this man is industrious, ambitious, filled with longing and joys and satisfactions and pains. It's... actually quite inspiring.

I think part of the point of the book is to celebrate the indomitable spirit of humanity. Despite oppression, poverty, sickness, and persecution, we can choose to live.

Solzhenitsyn fascinates me, particularly in comparison with another brilliant writer, Ayn Rand. Both left Communist Russia and condemned Communism, but with absolutely opposite premises. Their books both celebrate the human spirit, but they disagree completely about what that spirit actually is. Solzhenitsyn's exiled life in the US after his imprisonment and in the USSR is so interesting as well, because he kept himself surrounded by Russia even in the US. He never wanted to integrate and considered our society to be very corrupt, though in a different way than Russia. They were corrupt in the government, we were/are corrupt morally. When Solzhenitsyn could finally go back to Russia after Communism collapsed, still he struggled. He was certainly an idealist, but also a brilliant man, and a hero.

Lost Reactions - Some Like it Hoth

2009-04-16T09:36:00.000-07:00

First of all, if you missed it, I am now totally convinced that the resurrected John Locke is the monster. Read it here.

I'm not going to bother with a recap, but it was great. I do love a good character-centric episode, and Miles had a big blank spot in his background to fill. I'm left with several revelations and mysteries. The big one is:

The Shadow of the Statue Gang:
Ok, these people were following Miles, just as Widmore was. They are opposing Widmore. Last week when we saw these people on the beach I assumed they were working for Widmore, but I'm wrong. I have to begrudgingly bring up my hubby's suggestion that they might be the descendants of the original inhabitants of the island, the people that built the temple, the well that Locke went into to get to the donkey wheel, the statue, and probably all of the hieroglyphics. I would amend that though, and say that I'm wondering if the original inhabitants might be ageless (some electromagnetic funky time thing?). Richard Alpert is still a mystery to us because he doesn't age and clearly is different than the "Hostiles" that he's hanging out with. What if he is in league with these guys?

If they are ageless and these are the same people that were originally on the island, they would know both the past and the present and the workings of the island. The question is, why did they leave and what is their goal?

The other possibility is that they are working for Eloise Hawking, but what if Eloise is also an original inhabitant?

Anyways, I'm totally intrigued by those questions. We know that the group of "Shadow" people that are on the beach are headed on some sort of mission and that they're trying to move a big box that Ilana said had "supplies" in it. That could be anything...

So - what do you all think?

Rezinsky/Pierre Chang's secret work project:
I am not at all surprised to see Rezinsky at work on the hatch and in league with Pierre Chang, but I do wonder why it's a big secret. Who are they hiding this from? Since a guy was killed by his own filling shooting through his head and towards an electromagnetic source (I just know some guy LOVED thinking that up), we know that they are building the hatch because of the electromagnetism. Chang works at the Orchid, where we know he was doing time travel experiments. How much do you want to bet that he needed the electromagnetism for the experiments? I bet it's all linked somehow.

Widmore's recruitment of Miles: So Widmore had Miles followed and recruited, supposedly for his skills with talking to dead people. However, Widmore's surveillance is so detailed that I bet he knows that Miles was born on the island and that that has everything to do with his recruitment. Charlotte, too, was born on the island. Widmore was taking people back - for what purpose? We also now have confirmed that Widmore set up the fake plane crash.

Daniel Farraday's return!: Daniel is back! I love it. I totally didn't expect him to remember Miles, but I'm glad that he's in the right time loop to interact as an equal with our Losties. Now we need to know how he got off the island. It may be simple - he may have joined Dharma with the rest of our gang and returned to the mainland, joined up as a scientist, and made his way back to the island with the credentials to join Pierre Chang's experiments.

OR.... he was left in the jungle with "Ellie", his mom, and proceeded to use the hostiles' method of travel to get off the island. Hmmm..

*Addition to the list - The Island filled with dead people: People on message boards are asking what this meant. If you don't remember, Naomi told Miles they needed his services because the island had an increasing number of dead people living on it. It seems an obscure reference unless you believe, like I do, that Smokey inhabits the bodies of dead people and makes them seem alive and interacting with others.

What do you all think?

American Idol - Top 7 - Songs from Movies

2009-04-14T20:32:00.000-07:00

Ok, tonight's Idol review has to be fast because it's late, and I also had to watch the performances via YouTube because I had a meeting.... so I thought I'd start this off with the Idol Reviewers that I read every week

BooMama - I love BooMama's perspective, and she provides a Mr.Linky spot for other people to post their reviews.
What's Alan Watching - This guy reviews a TON of shows, and his Idol reviews are great.
Jestertunes - Great perspective
Top Idol - Do not read this blog if you are not ok with crude, snarky writing and lots of language. It's hilarious... but I have to warn you!

So - I love the movie theme, and I knew Isaac would be so excited about have Tarantino as the judge. Way to be creative, Idol!

Allison - “Don’t Want to Miss a Thing - Aerosmith
Hmm... vocally it was ok, but it wasn't as connected or passionate as she usually is. Or rather... as she used to be, because for the past three weeks I haven't been quite as impressed even though I think she has an incredible voice.

Anoop - “Everything I Do” by Bryan Adams
Anoop once again tries to look a little less frat-boy and fails miserably. He actually pulls off an old cheesy song really well, I loved the little ways he changed the song and I just loved his voice overall this week. He's really pulled himself back into the competition recently. He always picks cheesy songs, though... which says to me that I'm not so sure I'd want to buy his record if he recorded one...

Adam - “Born to be Wild” by Steppenwolf
Unbelievable, he pulls it off again. Adam is flawless. The thing is that Adam is a theatrical rocker, but he's not just a rocker. I like rock but I get tired of it quickly because often it lacks depth and tenderness. Like Chris Daughtry - I like him, but I can only handle a bit at a time. Unlike Chris, Adam twists his songs. He usually ads some sort of a haunting element to them, which I happen to really really like. If you don't like it, you won't like Adam. Then there's screech - it is unbelievably amazing and always on pitch, but it's still a screech and so it's becoming a schtick, even if it is flawless. I don't mind, but I think some other people do.

What in the world... Paula... *shakes head*... "you dare to dance in the palace of greatness"... what does that even mean?

Matt - “To Really Love a Woman” by Bryan Adams
Hmm. This week Matt falls back into being mediocre and uninteresting. Too bad. Anoop showed how you could take a cheesy old song and make it interesting... Matt failed.

Danny - “Endless Love” by Diana Ross
Well sung, in my opinion. I liked it, but it wasn't amazing. I've been thinking about Gokey and who he is as a singer. I see him putting out a solid CCM cd... but chances are I wouldn't buy it. I guess I'd say that while I think Danny has a better voice, Kris is more interesting in his style, or perhaps just closer to the style I like.

Kris - “Falling Slowly”
YES... I was so excited when I heard Kris was doing this song. It's from the movie "Once", which was amazing. Kara said afterward that he picked an obscure song, but IT WON AN ACADEMY AWARD. I don't call that obscure. And that reminds me, I need to buy that soundtrack... In any case, it was almost impossible for me to not be happy with this performance, but I do think it was fantastic.

*Edit - people that have seen the movie invariably loved this performance, those that have never heard the song before were not fans. I looked for a youtube clip from the movie where the two main characters compose the song, but no luck there. Instead, I'll show them performing the song on Letterman. Watch... it's so beautiful.

Lil - “The Rose” by Bette Midler
Unfortunately, Lil's fan base seems to be so small that no one bothered putting up a video over her performance during the voting period... so... that's not a good sign for her. What did you all think of it?

My Favorites:
Kris
Adam
Anoop

Time to Go:
Lil. Everyone knows it.

John Locke is the Monster

2009-04-14T07:00:00.000-07:00

** update - also read my theory that the "Shadow of the Statue" gang are the original inhabitants of the island, and that Alpert is one of them, and that they may all be ageless.

Isaac insisted that I write this down so that he can point back to it when he is proved right.

He is absolutely insistant after last week's Lost episode that our current resurrection John Locke is actually the monster.

Hmm.

Actually, after he said it I have to admit that I thought back quickly and thought - DUH, why didn't that occur to me?

Jacob is this shadowy, mysterious persona that we haven't actually seen but that everyone listens to and fears. Once when we saw a flash of him in the cabin, it was the figure of Christian Shepherd. Then there's Christian Shephard himself, who died in Australia and was transported via casket to the island. There his casket is found empty, and he suddenly starts showing up around the island. The producers have confirmed that Christian Shephard is physically dead. So, either there is some weird time warp thing that is playing with us all, or he is a ghost like Yemi was when he appeared to Eko.

It sure seems like the monster uses bodies that are empty of souls to appear to people on the island. He then speaks to them about their own history but also guides there actions. It's CREEPY.

So - our executed friend John Locke is transported to the island on the Ajira flight as the copy of Christian Shephard. He's in a casket, he's dead. Suddenly he's alive again, and that freaks everyone out. Now he seems to know a lot - he knows his own past but he also knows a lot about the island, what's supposed to happen, how to find the monster, etc. He's zen and stoic. He seems to be guiding Ben. During the last episode, the only time Locke disappeared was
1) when Ben pulled the plug on the water in the secret closet of his old house that apparently let the monster loose.
and
2) when Ben fell into a hole in the Temple and is confronted by the monster/the monster embodied in Alex.

AND the monster makes Ben promise to follow John.

So... who's with us? Do you think Ben is actually the monster?

What I don't know is what that means for people like Christian Shepherd, Locke, Alex, Yemi, etc... are they just dead and gone for good? That sort of makes me sad.... but I am really convinced that the Locke we are seeing in these episodes is not actually Locke.

And... is Jacob also just the monster, or is he someone/something else?

Movie Review: Doubt

2009-04-13T07:00:00.001-07:00

"Doubt" movie poster
Originally uploaded by beastandbean

Isaac and I knew we wanted to watch Doubt, but it took us a while to get around to it. We actually didn't know all that much about the movie. We knew it had something to do with the child molestation scandal within the Catholic church of New England, and we knew there were some dynamic scenes between Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Meryl Street, but that was about it.

At the end of the movie it only took a moment for Isaac to burst out in frustration about the ending and with Meryl Street and several other things. I countered his thoughts, telling him what I thought the movie was portraying underneath the surface. We totally disagreed - it was almost like we'd been watching two different movies! Then we watched the special features and both Meryl Streep and the director said that this play/movie, more than any other they'd worked on, was interpreted by the viewer. Everyone thinks it means something different. Well... I guess we can be witnesses to the truth of that statement!

I liked a lot about the movie. It was a fascinating and sometimes humorous look inside the Sisters of Charity in NY, just after Vatican II. The writer wrote the story into the school he went to as a child in NY, and the ended up filming at the SAME school, and used one of the nuns he wrote about as an advisor to the film. I love that authenticity, and the movie had a quiet, simple beauty to it.

Hoffman and Streep really are incredible at what they do. Amy Adams matched them, though, and as a trio they were really created a profound story.

*SPOILER ALERT*

The tension of the movie is over the suspicion that Streep's character has that Hoffman is pursuing and molesting a new boy in the parish school. I was going to summarize the plot but I can't be bothered. I'm just going to tell you what I thought about it.

To me, the movie made absolute sense when I thought of it being the perspective of someone outside of the church looking into the church and trying to understand how the church struggled with these scandals or rumors of scandal.

Although Streep's accusations are never proven, I thought what the story assumed that Hoffman was gay. That this is his nature is just the presupposition of the world-view, and so there is great tension as the author tries to understand and portray what it would be like for a kind, believing man to wrestle with a nature that is considered sin by the church. Hoffman struggles with doubt, he struggles with his mind. I think the story hinted that he never acted on his "nature", but that it haunted him, and that was what left him feeling fearful and guilty in the fact of Streep's brutal judgemental ism. The writer of the story is deeply sympathetic to Hoffman's character.

Then there's Streep. She is how people picture the unbending, judgemental, traditional side of the church. She believes in right and wrong, she simply KNOWS she's right about Hoffman, and she is effective in her discipline and drive, she just isn't NICE. What was fascinating to me about her is that her moral code is her own - it isn't driven by scripture or by the Catholic church tradition. I found this interchange to be fascinating:

Father Brendan Flynn: You have no right to act on your own! You have taken vows, obedience being one! You answer to us! You have no right to step outside the church!
Sister Aloysius Beauvier: I will step outside the church if that's what needs to be done, till the door should shut behind me! I will do what needs to be done, though I'm damned to Hell!

The shocking scene at the end of the movie that didn't make sense at all to Isaac showed Streep's character break down into tears and admit to Amy Adams that she is filled with doubts. Isaac took this to mean that she doubts her accusations of Father Flynn, but I took it to mean that she is doubting her faith, and that makes absolute sense to me. She has (in her mind) successfully accused a church leader that is respected, and in some way she's lost her own integrity in the process. Of course when she's condemned someone in a hierarchical system, she now suddenly finds that she's undermined the very ground she stands on. The Catholic church bases much on authority, and when she's questioned it, she's not sure what to believe any more. To me that makes sense, because she's made herself out to the be only thing she really trusts and believes in.

Then there's Amy Adams, who I think is the truly good person to the outsiders looking into the church. They are uncomfortable with Father Flynn because his struggle with sin may lead to the abuse of his power and influence. They are uncomfortable with the intolerance of Sister Aloysius. Amy Adams, though, is the type of religious person that the secular world rather likes. She is innocent, her faith is simple but she clings to it. She assumes the good in people, she loves and cares and commits her life to doing good. The irony of her character is that while I think people like her, they don't believe her. When Adam's character decides she believes Father Flynn is innocent after all, Sister Aloysius's accusation is quite profound: "You just want things to be resolved so you can have simplicity back."

I think that is what the world thinks of good and nice Christians. They like us and they can live with us, but they think we are afraid of anything outside of our simple, ordered belief system.

So - I found the movie quite profound when I looked at it as the view of an outsider looking in. I think they get it wrong half the time, but it is quite telling.

Book Review - The Last Sin Eater by Francine Rivers

2009-04-10T22:07:00.000-07:00

My bookish blogging friends challenged my disdain for Francine Rivers (which I picked up from my fav. college lit professor, who called Rivers Christian crap-o-rama). Maybe I was being too harsh. Maybe there was a depth to Rivers that is often missing in popular Christian fiction.

Well - if Francine Rivers has a greater depth than most, it wasn't evident in "The Last Sin Eater". I didn't like it. I mean, I actually really liked the concept, but about half-way through the novel the concept started unraveling into a simplistic evangelical salvation presentation. See my review of the movie "Fireproof" to read more of my complaints about simplistic presentations of salvation. I don't have a problem with Christian art and literature, but I do have a problem with bad Christian art and literature.

See, the idea of a "sin-eater" is I guess from old Scotland and Whales, where communities would a assign one member the duty of "eating" the sin of community members that passed away. This insured that only one member of the community had to carry the guilt of sin and everyone else would be purified at their death.

Obviously, that is a very, very cool metaphor that parallels with the gospel very clearly. Thing is, while it started as a metaphor set in a superstitious mountain community was turned into a modern gospel pitch, and it just didn't fit culturally so it wasn't believable. It might have worked as a kids story... but I kept thinking, "You can't make the jump from not knowing anything about Christianity to suddenly talking like a 70-year-old pastor! That's cultural lingo - it's not imparted by 'praying the prayer'!".

Anyways - I didn't like The Last Sin Eater.
Rating - 2 out of 5

10 Biggest Unsolved Mysteries of Lost (as of 4/9/09)

2009-04-09T10:50:00.000-07:00

I have been trying to order in my head what we have yet to discover about our mysterious island. I heard in some podcast or interview that even at the beginning of the first season, the producers knew WHAT the island was. They reordered characters and their backgrounds, but the island has been the point of the story all along.

So - here's what I don't know yet. Do you guys have any to add? Do you think you have the answer to any of these question?

What IS the smoke monster?
Who built the temple and the four-toed statue, and why?
Who/what is Christian Shepherd?
Who/what is Jacob?
What are the whispers?
How did the Black Rock get on the island?
How was/is Walt special?
Why did the Hostiles steal children, and what became of them?
What happened to Claire?
Why doesn't Richard Alpert age?

Runner up questions -
Who discovered the island's potential to travel through time, and what did they plan on using it for?
Dharma built their complex on top of the temple entry-way, so who first lived in Ben's room and what did they use it for?
Where are Rose, Bernard, Faradday, etc...
Why does Widmore want to go back to the island?

Lost - "Dead is Dead" recap

2009-04-09T08:24:00.001-07:00

OH MY GOSH.

Lost's latest episode, "Dead is Dead" has my mind spinning. I'm still not sure WHO is dead, WHEN they are dead, and what it means for the show!

I decided that to lessen my confusion, I need to briefly put things in order, because the show skipped around so much in place and time that I could hardly keep up.

Back in the 70's
Widmore is mad at Richard for rescuing little Ben, but apparently not too mad. They almost interact as equals. Widmore seems pretty superstitious about the cosmic sovereignty of "the island", just as Ben is in the present. Widmore is friendly to Ben.

What... suddenly we seem to be in the 80's? Maybe?
A young Ben but not kid Ben is seen with another kid in the jungle. He storms young Danielle's hide-out and takes baby Alex. He warns her that she'll hear whispers and she should run and stay away. It sounds as though she doesn't see anyone again from this moment until she meets Sayid on the beach. Poor lady. I genuinely feel sorry for her. I think we have her entire back story now.

When Ben brings the baby to the camp, Widmore is pissed. Ben apparently was supposed to kill Danielle and he didn't know she'd have a baby. He's apparently still a pretty nice guy. He stands up to angry Widmore in defense of Alex and questions whether Widmore is really following Jacob's orders (who do they think Jacob is at this point??)

Early 90's maybe?
Ben has taken up the role of Alex's dad, and he's apparently a good dad. He loves her. Widmore is leaving the island, and as we already know, he blames Ben for his being forced to leave. Ben says it's not his fault, Widmore broke the rules (part of that seems to be the existence of Penny as his daughter with an "outsider")and therefore has to leave. Widmore says Ben has broken the rules as well by saving Alex. He says one day Alex will die and then Ben will realize that "you can't fight the inevitable". Yet again, everyone on this freakin island believes in fate. Fate controlled by the island, though? In any case, we know Widmore speaks prophetically and Alex does die and Ben is kicked off the island... but then why is he allowed back if Widmore is not?

Pre-Ajira Crash
Ben calls Widmore and says he's going back to the island, and then threatens to kill Penny. He shoots Desmond, but apparently Desmond is needed still, because he is fine and sneaks up behind Ben when he threatens Penny, and beats him to the pulp-like state that he is in when he boards the Ajira flight.

The Present (or at least, we think it's the present)
Here we start where last week left off - Bloody Ben (hah, I like it, that might just stick) wakes up and looks petrified when he sees a dignified and apparently alive John Locke sitting beside him. Ben says he has broken the rules and has come back to be judged by the monster.

When Locke catches Ben searching his old office (hmm... didn't Cesar search the same place? What are they looking for?), he brings up his own murder. Ben immediately starts acting like a child caught with his hand in the candy jar, and starts making excuses for why he killed John. Yeah... I'd feel awkward too. In any case, he says he knew John would come back to life, but he had to kill John in order to get everyone back to the island (insinuating in the process that where John failed, Ben was successful). It was all "in the best interest of the island". Yeah... I don't buy it. Lies.

Once outside and around the Ajira plane crash people, Ben begins his wheedling ways again, and insinuates to Cesar that John is crazy and might be a dangerous island native. When Cesar later tries to stop Locke from taking a boat, Ben switches tactics and steals his gun and shoots Cesar, telling John he should consider that Ben's apology. Oh man - manipulative Ben is back. In any case, the two take off to the main island in an attempt to get to the monster. Locke seems to have gained some innate wisdom about Ben, his motivations, and the island. He knows Ben's guilt is not over breaking the rules of the island but over allowing his own daughter to be killed.
Locke and Ben run into Sun and Lapidus at Ben's old house. They show Ben the old photo of the Losties in Dharma, and BEN SEEMS SHOCKED. Ah hah, so he really did forget it all. I thought that he might have remembered them and known who they were when the plane first crashed on the island, but it appears that I'm wrong. Ben also seems terrified by the thought of Christian's guidance of Sun and Lapidus, while they return the shock when they see Locke alive and well. John "has some ideas" about how to find Jin and the Losties, but Lapidus is apparently an extraneous character and the producers kick him back to the beach.

Locke enters the secret passage way in his house and seems to pull up a drain and apparently speaks to ... something... and says "I'll be outside", the drain-pulling seems to be the signal that the monster has been summoned, but Ben doesn't know where the monster actually is (Locke does, though... hmm).
Hmm... Ben doesn't know a lot of things after all. He also didn't know Locke would resurrect. He doesn't understand it.

So.... if dead is dead, then Locke really was dead. Locke responds and says that he is now "the same man I've always been." If we take both of them at their word, then Locke has truly resurrected. Not sure what the significance of it all is... but ... it seems like the producers are trying to clarify Locke's life status.

Ben and Locke go under the mysterious temple in the same place the French dude was sucked into by the monster. Ben falls into a cavern, and there sees some crazy hieroglyphics, and then sees 'ole Smokey begin filling the room like a whirlpool. Like Eko, he sees scenes from his life in the whirling smoke, but his are focused on Alex. Ben is apparently emotionally undone, and when the smokey monster fades away he sees... Alex? Or at least Smokey impersonating Alex. She throws him against the wall and tells him to follow John Locke and NOT kill him. Ben swears to it.

Wow.

Meanwhile, back in the other camp we see our hot chick (forgot her name, I still think of her as the wife from The Namesake) partnering with apparently a bunch of the other Ajira passengers. Apparently there are a group of them that were planted on the plane without knowing each other, but they identify each other by the ability to answer the phrase "What lies in the shadow of the statue?" Lapidus is not a plant. How much do you want to bet they're all working for Widmore? We don't know of anyone else working behind the scenes at this point, even Abadon is dead.

When I get more time, I am going to write a post about what we've learned and what mysteries are yet to be solved. We're almost down to one more season!

American Idol Top 8

2009-04-07T20:36:00.001-07:00

American Idol Top 8
Originally uploaded by Amyq

I don't like this theme. I didn't like it last year, don't like it this year. Too limiting. I'd much rather have a week like last week with an almost nonexistent them then a theme that's too narrow. Anyways, considering that annoyance, this week turned out OK.

Danny Gokey

Unlucky spot number one, who is generally forgotten by the end of the show! Will Danny's ratings drop this week? I've said before that Danny's popularity peaked early and he really has to work hard to get attention back from the spot-light thieves that are Adam Lambert and Kris Allen... and this week Matt Giraud.

By the way, anyone remember Chris Sligh? Curly haired chubby guy with an awesome voice and a great sarcastic sense of humor?

In any case, his blog this week talked about meeting up with Danny Gokey and Jason Castro this week. How fun is that?

Danny sang "Stand by Me", and to me, it's boring. He always sings well, but he needs to really keep my attention right now, and he fails. The judges rave, though. Do they just love him, or did I really miss something?

Kris Allen

I've loved Kris the last few weeks, but this week's "All She Wants to do is Dance" is sort of uninteresting... much like Danny Gokey. Unlike Danny, the judges roast him. Helllooo... favoritism?

Lil Rounds

Simon still cannot say "Lil". He just doesn't get it.
While Danny needs to really impress us to stay at the top, Lil needs to really impress us to keep from getting kicked off. She too fails to impress in her performance of "What's Love Got To Do With It." I will say that I feel like it is a little bit more tender and emotional than some of the previous weeks, but given that EVERY week she's had the same problem, I'm officially giving up. I believe I said that last week about Megan - so Lil better look out? She's got pipes, but she tries to be a diva before developing a connection with fans that allows her to really bust it out and have the audience get caught up in the song with her.

Anoop Desai

Hah, I love it. Anoop is such a college kid. He can't help it. This week the shirt and the obvious excitement for the Tarheels just boosted his frat-boy reputation. And he apologized very pointedly for sassing Kara last week. Hmm... well, I think Simon is right and you don't have to apologize for sass on AI... unless Anoop really was just mad and so was intentionally rude rather then just trying to mess around to make himself interesting. If that's the case, then the apology was deserved and I respect him for it.

In any case, Anoop copies Kris and Adam and tries to do a slow, soft, and tender performance to win some extra connection with the audience. He's not quite as believable as Kris and Adam, but "True Colors" was still a great, emotional song. I like it, but after three boring performances, I am actually longing for something peppy.... uh oh... piano ballad boy is up next....

Scott MacIntyre

I groaned at the start of Scott's song because it started off as yet another sappy song from him, and I am so tired of hearing those performances. I looked up after groaning and was shocked to see him playing guitar! Impressive... but then again, he didn't play amazingly well.

I must say, Scott has really matured as a performer to me. They've helped guide his style, helped him grow in confidence and I really think his singing is better now. I do hate it when I feel like Kara or any of the judges are being nice to Scott because he's blind. That's the worst - a physical disability doesn't need coddling - that makes it worse. Thank you, Simon, for being just straight up honest with Scott. I think it's time for him to go home. His voice is more limited than any other contestant.

Alison Iraheta

Praise God, it's about time someone came on to spice things up a little. It's amazing, even Alison's baby pictures are cool. It must be innate.

Well, Alison actually disappoints me. She slows it up and does a much older style of performance of "I Can't Make You Love Me". Like Danny and Kris, it is sung just fine, but I find it sort of boring. Last week was sort of boring from her as well - bring it back Alison! Oh, and her skirt... was that a skirt? It was strange.

Matt Giraud

I told Isaac this was make it or break it week for Matt. He's done well, he's done badly, no one knows what to think of him. He has to bust it out.

He does! Matt totally redeems the snoozefest for me. I LOVE it. He sings "Part Time Lover" and does it funky and fun and bluesy. He smiles and shows his gorgeous dimples (and hides his mole). It reminds me of Blake Lewis, sort of. Great outfit. If I see more of that, Matt will be in my top three.

Adam Lambert

Usually the last spot is good because your performance is fresh on everyone's mind, but tonight Idol goes overtime and I wonder if Adam's performance was cut off for everyone that Tivos Idol. In any case, I told Isaac that this week would be a tough one for Adam, because he has had three flawless, amazing, and unique performances. How can he possibly keep that up?

(side note: Adam has red hair in this baby pictures!! I wonder what he'd look like with no makeup and no dye)

Amazingly, Adam totally keeps it up. He does an entire performance in ONE spot, mostly sitting in a chair in the center of the stage, lit with a blue spotlight. Like other weeks, his control while singing softly but strongly is UNBELIEVABLE. Every time I hear him sing like that I just shake my head because it is BEAUTIFUL. He is a stunning singer. Half the song is in falsetto, and it is flawless.

And... unbelievable.... Simon gives Adam a standing ovation. That is something I've NEVER seen before.

I just cannot believe Adam is the same guy that was so annoying in the first few weeks of this season. In the past four weeks he has just stunned me.

Best performances tonight:
Adam Lambert
Matt Giraud
Anoop Desai

Three most record/radio ready contestants:
Adam Lambert
Danny Gokey
Alison Iraheta

Three contestants that I love but have been inconsistent:
Kris Allen
Matt Giraud
Anoop Desai

Kick Off Immediately:
Lil Rounds
Scott

If someone other than Lil or Scot goes this week, I'm gonna be mad.

Book Meme

2009-04-06T11:09:00.001-07:00

From S Krishna's Blog:

Hardback, trade paperback or mass market paperback? Hardback to put on shelves, but mass market paperback for most of my reading, because they're cheapest.
Barnes & Noble or Borders? Neither. Give me Half-Price-Books any day. HPB should be on my list of my favorite things about Dallas.
Bookmark or dog-ear? dog-ear. I TRY to bookmark, I really do. I also fail miserably.
Amazon or brick-and-mortar? Amazon. Yay for the internet.
Alphabetize by author, or alphabetize by title, or random? Grouped by topid.
Keep, throw away, or sell? Keep if I love it, sell it if I like it. If I hate it, I throw it away. No sense perpetuating ignorance.
Keep dust jacket or toss it? Keep it.
Read with dust jacket or remove it? Keep it.
Short story or novel? Novels, definitely. I do like short stories, but it's sort of like the difference between a sitcom and a movie, a drive-through and a seated meal.
Stop reading when tired or at chapter breaks? When I'm tired. I try to at chapter breaks, but they write them as cliff-hangers too often, so I generally keep going until my eyes won't stay open any longer.
“It was a dark and stormy night” or “Once upon a time”? Um... neither? I guess dark and stormy, because once upon a time just sounds like it's going to be unrealistic. Oh my word, I sound like my mother.
Buy or borrow? Borrow if I can, but that rarely happens.
Buying choice: book reviews, recommendations, or browse? Recommendations. I have a long list I'm trying to get through of everything that has been recommended to me.
Tidy ending or cliffhanger? What good is a cliffhanger ending? I don't mind a messy ending because life is messy, but a cliffhanger? That means unanswered questions.
Morning reading, afternoon reading, or nighttime reading? Nighttime. When everything else is done I can focus.
Stand-alone or series? Stand-alone.
Favorite series? Lord of the Rings. Too bad they are now so popular that my answer is cliche. ;)
Favorite children’s book? Tales of the Kingdom.
Favorite YA book? Chronicles of Narnia
Favorite book of which nobody else has heard? Shusako Endo's books are still sort of underground. I loved "Silence".
Favorite books read last year? A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini, Sons and Lovers by DH Lawrence, The Spirit of the Jungle by Mark Ritchie, and Wild Swans by June Chang....
What are you reading right now? The Mission of God by Wright and The Last Sin Eater by Rivers.
What are you reading next? My next fiction is up in the air, and the Mission of God will take me a while. Any fiction must reads?
Favorite book to re-read? I can reread Dickens because his characters are so charming.
Do you ever smell books? Yes... I love book smells
Do you ever read primary source documents like letters or diaries? Reading blogs is sort of like reading a diary sometimes, depending on who is writing

I'd like to tag Sonnetjoy and Empress8411, but I'm not sure they read bloglines. :)

Dagny Galt and rational self-interest

2009-04-06T09:00:00.000-07:00

Book Review: Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
reposted from my old blog

Atlas Shrugged was a fantastic book, one of those books that is not only well-written but is also a page turner (except the 100 pages towards the end of the book that is a SINGLE monologue).

One of the interesting things was that the main character, Dagny, reminded me of my old boss (I won't say which one!). It was uncanny. I started reading it at the same time that I was watching a crazy situation go down at work, and it was like reading a biography of my boss in some ways. You know that kind of person that is a self-motivated and a driven perfectionist, so they go go go all the time. They get everything done and when they get a vision of something, they will do anything and everything to make it happen. They can turn around companies, change countries, make their mark in history. They are also incredibly demanding of everyone else around them.

That kind of person is the only person of value in Atlas Shrugged. In most perspectives that character would be a "bad guy." In Atlas Shrugged they are the heroes, the only ones that keep the world running. By the end of the book, I saw her point. It was actually very convicting, all the talk about hard work, drive and dedication, and business and industry. I feel as though I have honestly walked away from this book changed, the way one might speak about a religious book. I don't buy into her worldview, but it certainly influences mine. This is strange because Rand is a hard-core capitalist with no room for charity or religion or anything that she views as "weak".

One thing that really struck me was the central theme of rational self-interest. As I started seeing that thread wind its way into the book I thought of how opposed it is to everything you hear in Sunday school. Rand sees no reason to give to the poor, no reason to help your brother, and no reason to be selfless. Actually the point of the book is selfishness. The further I got into the book I began to question my automatic push back against that theme, partly because of a few comments from a philosophy guy at church. Why do we come to God? Why should someone "become a Christian?" I always felt like it was ... selfish... of me to have come to God, since in the end my best reason was that I did it for myself. Aren't I supposed to do things for God? And yet God doesn't need me... I'm not doing it for Him, I do it for me. Rational self-interest. Isn't God the only truly rational self-interested choice for humans? Sure, a life following Christ doesn't feel as though it is for ourselves, it can actually be quite painful. In Atlas, though, the main characters go through a great amount of pain to achieve an ultimately better life for themselves.

Interesting. It seems to me that applied without God being true, Rand's philosophy is brutal, cold, and perhaps even devastating. Applied assuming that God is true, it is transformational, because all of that energy and determination is given to the pursuit of God.

Then there is the character of John Galt... He is the first to truly turn to rational self-interest. The more I thought about the character, the more I came to the conclusion that it's an interesting picture of God. I think of self-interest as a bad thing... but for God? Isn't it not only rational but good and right and ... the only possible way of things... that God be fully self-interested? That gives a different twist on how I look at salvation-history and why it is the way it is.

Oh, and her ideas about sex and love and women are way before their time, if you ask me. Interesting. The other thing that struck me was that Rand's extreme views of capitalism came out of her life in Communist Russia before coming to the US. Comparing her experiences and conclusions to Solzynitzyn's is really striking- they went opposite directions, really. Rand emphasizes capitalism and the importance of self-interest, while Solz. emphasized moral religion and scorned self-interest.

Fascinating

public 7:30 PM 8 views 4 eprops 2 comments edit

Slumdog Millionaire

2009-04-04T20:25:00.001-07:00

Slumdog Millionaire
Originally uploaded by Ignacio Manchado

Isaac and I just finished Slumdog Millionaire. Of course you're probably like me and everyone and their mother has told you it's an incredible movie, and you know that it swept the Academy's and won 8 of the top awards this year.

So, it's really not surprising at all to say that it rocked.

I watched it with a deeper interest, though. I watched and thought about the words and observations of my friend Barry, who spent last year in India. He walked through the slums of Mumbai, and he said watching the movie was surreal because of how realistic it was, it just transported him back. Barry wrote a lot about the human rights issues over, and the movie showed some of it in flashes and pieces of the larger story. That's really what made the movie great - it had a lighthearted story set in a very dark place. That's what made it watchable.

It was all familiar to me too. I spent Christmas near this area with my family, and they took us around to see the beautiful things - the beach, the mountains, buzzing marketplaces and beautiful restaurants with a view. The most sobering moments came when we were just driving around. One day we were stuck in traffic in the late evening and ended up driving by the largest slum in the city my parents live in. It was hazy, and in the last light of the day shack after shack after mud shack stretched as far as we could see. I could see the clothes strung out to dry, the donkey carts, people sitting out having tea... and it just went on and on and on.

All of us sat in the car with our faces pressed against the windows, the sobered silence punctured only by our "wow".... "wow".... there wasn't anything we could really say. I was struck by the immensity of it all. I am used to poverty because I grew up in a third-world country, but I'm not used to seeing the massive, sprawling slums of south Asia, where humanity is packed into mud walls and tin roofs, with no water, electricity, or heating. How do they eat? Where do they work? How do they bathe? Unlike Slumdog's story, most of the people in this slum were refugees, unable to go home, and often unable to work legally.

My mom cautioned us against talking too much about the poverty over there, because it isn't necessarily helpful to these countries or their people to emphasize their difficulties... it's sort of like telling a teenager everything that's wrong with their lives.

That is what I thought of when I watched Slumdog - I thought of how REAL that life is to millions. I looked on the internet and found that the slum referenced in the movie used to be the largest in Asia, with approximately 1 million people in it. It's now been surpassed by a slum in Karachi and is rivaled by several other slums within Mumbai itself.

Millions.

Just today I was talking a friend from my small group, and we talked about money and expectations and the pressure to keep making more, to buy a house, to move up in the world. We are supposed to give our families a good life - to guarantee that our children live well.

I find it all so frustrating. Your children will not necessarily be any happier in a nice house with a paid-for education at a great school then the kids in the slums of Karachi are. That's the irony of it. So many wealthy, comfortable people are miserable. So many dirt poor people are people filled with joy. That doesn't mean there isn't a deep tragedy to their story, or to the existence of such chocking poverty. It's quite clear that God's heart is there in the slums of Mumbai, the shanty towns of Manila, and the migrant camps of Shanghai.

I kept thinking as I watched the movie - I have got to get out of here. We've got to go. The thing about living in the West is that while we make a lot of money, it is all demanded back. The cost of living is so high that your wallet is empty even when you make exponentially more then anyone in the third-world does.

During one scene in the movie, children are turned out in the streets to beg, and then brought back to live together and turn over their money to the masters. I told Isaac as I watched the little girl that plays Latika (who really was pulled out of a slum during movie casting) that I still see clearly the face of the little girl that hung at Isaac's knees when we waited for taxis in a little village at Christmas.

We were surrounded by beggars, but this little girl just haunted Isaac and I. She looked very much like Latika, with matted hair, big brown eyes, smooth skin, and a ragged dress. She would tug on your clothes and murmur pleadingly, holding out her hands. Isaac gave her more money than is culturally appropriate, and she gave him such a beautiful quiet smile before he was surrounded by beggars wanting more.

What do you do? How do you help? I don't know. I do know, though, that I watched a young Mexican lady with a beautiful little girl check out at the grocery store this morning with food stamps. I know that there are thousands of refugees living about 10 minutes away from me, some of whom have only been out of the slums for months, and the adjustment is very confusing and discouraging at times. They've been given a chance at a different life but don't have the tools to grasp it. There are places HERE to help. I have to remember that.

Lost Thoughts

2009-04-02T08:40:00.001-07:00

Destiny Calls Lost
Originally uploaded by halilgokdal

* I managed to squeeze in watching Lost online before work this morning, which may or may not have been a good idea. I didn't watch American Idol, but I know Tattooed Mormon Joy went home, and at this point I have to say she deserved it. So - no surprises there. *

Anyways, back to Lost. It's a week without a lot of revelations. The producers seem to be trying to clarify some of the time questions and wrap up some of the Jack/Sawyer/Juliet/Kate stuff. I think they've gauged the reaction to Juliet and Sawyer and they're sticking with it - boooooo. I've always preferred it the other way around, but no one agrees with me. In any case, now we finally know what Sawyer whispered to Kate and we know where Aaron is, and that seems to be safe and somewhat unimportant to the rest of the plot.

I tried to listen closely to Miles and Hurley's hilarious discussion about time. The best line of the night came out when Miles asked asked Hurley what he was doing and Hurley says he's checking to see if he's disappearing.

So - Miles is emphasizing that you CANNOT change the future. It is the way it is. It's all fate. The only break in that insistence comes when Hurley challenges him by asking why a grown up Ben didn't remember Sayid, particularly when Sayid goes to torture him. Miles seems genuinely stumped - which leads us to ask - Why doesn't Ben remember Sayid?

I think we have three options.

- Ben actually does remember Sayid, he just lets what happens happen because he is that much of a believer in fate. This makes sense to me because it sure seems to me like Ben remembers some of the others when they arrive at the island - he's sure of who they are as soon as he sees the plane crash! Still, that doesn't seem to be what they're hinting at here.

- Ben doesn't remember because time works in loops - so when they went back in time the universe adjusts itself so that things happen differently but with the same ultimate results. This - the way it worked the first time around without them in the story is not how it will work this time with them in the story, BUT the ultimate results will be the same. So - the first time around, there was no visit of Sayid to the island, so of course Ben doesn't remember it, it didn't happen. It's happening now, but in a different loop. Sorry, this is complicated, it's well explained on this site: Time Loop Theory

- Ben doesn't remember because it didn't happen. They are wrong and you really CAN change the future, so by going back in time they are changing the whole story. This is intriguing because anything could happen, but the producers have directly said that you can't change the future, so I don't buy it.

- Ben doesn't remember because he's been brainwashed - see a couple of paragraphs down.

There's still a lot of this lingo about fate and how things happen and characters do things "because I was supposed to". Watching all of this has been really interesting to think about questions of the sovereignty of God and how He is outside of time, and what that actually means. It's interesting!

It all got interesting when our new nice Sawyer helps Kate take the fading little Ben to Richard, leader of the Others, the Hostiles. Now we know how Ben got from Dharma to the Hostiles. What really got me was Richard's warning to Sawyer about what would happen if they gave Ben to them. "He'll forget this ever happened, his innocence will be gone, and he'll always be one of us."

Hmm.. what does THAT mean? Why will he forget? What makes him lose his innocence?

Richard's side-kick says, "If Charles finds out...", which leads me to say - is Charles Widmore leading the Others at this point? Is he a young or old Charles Widmore? And then I couldn't quite make it out, but I thought he mentioned "the healer", which I assume would be ghostly John Locke - aka Jacob? And maybe that's why there's all kinds of whispers when John went to see Jacob - because he's attempting to talk to himself through time?

*ahhh... other blogs clarified. He said "ellie" not "the healer", which is probably Faraday's mom. So - she and Widmore are working together, ON the island.

And, last of all.... Richard takes Harry Potter Ben into ..... dun dun dun.... THE TEMPLE! Did I not write about the temple last week? I knew it was significant! Looks like it's about to be de-mystified though!

Our last scene seems to be a jump into the future, where a resurrected John Locke looks at dusty Ben Linus and says "Hello Ben, welcome back to the land of living". Now, this begs the question - when Ben is healed, does he somehow jump into the future and adulthood, or is all of this the producers playing with our mind, and it's a completely modern day situation where creepy John is taking care of wounded Ben?

Your thoughts?

American Idol - Top 9

2009-03-31T18:35:00.000-07:00

Wow, what a night. I actually really liked tonight, and I'm really loving this group of finalists.... for the most part. My friend Alysa commented on last week's Idol post that Matt helped lead the worship at her father-in-law's church. That piqued my interest and I did a little research and was amazed to find out that out of the top 11 contestants, FIVE of them helped lead worship at their churches. I already knew about Danny Gokey and Michael Sarver, and on top of that Matt, Kris, and Scott all do as well. Must make some interesting dynamics for Adam!

Anoop Desai -
Hmm.... Anoop decides to do Usher because he's looking for something with more energy. By the time the first line was out of his mouth I had already thought, "Wow, even if he nails this song vocally it's still going to be a strange performance because the man can't look urban to save his life." I've heard other reviewers complain about his frat-boy look, but today Anoop seemed to really be trying to look more cool, but the attempt failed miserably and he looked still looked like a nerd dressed up to sing an Usher song. He's a lovable nerd... but... still a nerd. In the end, his vocals were fine and so was the performance (not nearly as bad as the judges said), but I was left thinking that I just can't see Anoop being a hit singer.

Megan Joy-
Sorry Alysa, I know you like Megan! I do too - I really, really like the quality of her voice and I think it's unique enough to be enjoyable on the radio. The problem is that she has yet to perform well on stage. And .... that's sort of necessary. In any case, Megan sang a Bob Marley and Lauryn Hill song, which I was initially excited about because I thought it would really showcase her husky voice. Hmm... it was SO awkward. All of her little dancy moves were just painful to watch, and she still seems nervous, so it all just fell flat. Then, when the judges raked her over the coals for her performance she waved it off and said she knew what they wanted now and she hoped she'd get the chance to follow their advice next week. I thought the same thing Simon said in the background, "That's what you say every week!" Megan has lost me as a fan - I've stopped voting for her.

Danny Gokey
When Danny said he'd be singing a Rascal Flatts song, Isaac and I knew it would be a good choice for him. Danny was an early favorite and I think since everyone was familiar with him he's been getting lost in the excitement of everyone finding new people that they like. It's important for him to really reconnect emotionally now to keep his fans.... and he did. I got goosebumps at the line "never knowing what could have been", in light of the loss of his wife. It was electric. In the end I think it actually wasn't Danny's best performance, and in the comparison of his single voice to the four-part harmony of Rascal Flatts, Danny seemed pretty plain. Still, as Isaac said, there is something so appealing about him! We laughed because the worship pastor in Danny totally comes out. It just makes sense - he knows how to put emotion into a song!

Alison Iraheta
Alison chose "Don't Speak" by No Doubt. I thought the song would potentially be right up her alley as an intense rock song. She was playing the guitar for the first time, and that worked for her. From the first note it was beautiful, although I really loved the unique subdued beginning more then I liked the intensity of the rock at the end. At the end of the song Isaac turned to me and declared, "She is just ridiculous." She is so consistent, she has such fantastic vocal maturity, and every song she sings is amazing. However, I have to agree with Randy. WHAT was she wearing?? As soon as the group walked out I was like, "I hate Allison's hair!"

Scot MacIntyre
Well, Scot really "worked it out" (as Randy says) with Billy Joel's "Just The Way You Are". I chuckled when he said in his intro video piece that he was going to "strip down, it'll just be me and the piano." Really? Stripped down? Haven't all your performances been stripped down? Is this really anything new? In any case, I don't think Scot knows how to do contemporary songs, but for some reason this song really clicked with him and his performance was really good - the best so far. I bet it'll keep him in for another week.

Matt Giraud
When Matt said he was going to sing "You Found Me" from The Fray, I was excited. I thought the song would really fit his voice and style, and I was really impressed with how he changed up the tune. I LOVED IT. I thought It was the kind of performance I'd buy on itunes and listen to over and over again. He really brought me in as a fan for the first time. So, when Paula totally hammered Matt in her critique I was like, WHAT?? I totally disagreed with all of the judges. Someone compared it to when he sang Coldplay and said that rock isn't his style, he's more R&B. I thought - who says? I loved his coldplay performance and I really think he might make a better moody rocker that throws in R&B somewhere. Lets face it - he's certainly not Justin Timberlake, no matter what the judges say. Dude, curly blond hair and scruff doesn't mean mean the boy can dance it out.

Lil Rounds
Same story this week. Lil did Celine Dion's "I Surrender". She sings beautifully. She has a big voice and does big songs, but there was still no connection between her and the audience (or me). Why is that? Randy said she needed more swagger, and I thought that was a good point. I think she needs to do something sassy and fun - Mary J. was a good recommendation. However, at the end when the camera panned to her little girls and one of them gave Randy a hug it was completely adorable, and Lil's tears really helped to give some depth and emotion to her personality. That was a good moment for her. Baby girl deserves an ice-cream on the way home for that one!

Adam Lambert
Seriously, Adam is on a role. THAT WAS AWESOME. He did Wild Cherries "Play That Funky Music". It reminded me of Blake Lewis sort of song choice and is really different then what Adam has done before... but then he's really taken himself out of all categories in the last three weeks, so what am I talking about? In any case, it's a funky song, not a rock show, and Adam did what he's been doing - he took the song and just smashed it, in a good way. He totally sold it, it was just infectious and and SO MUCH FUN. I don't always like the Idol band, but Adam just works the band, and this arrangement was awesome. It's a bit surreal to look back and remember how annoyingly weird Adam was back at the start of this season - he's totally transformed himself.

Please forgive the totally inappropriate introductory comments on this youtube video - it's only an hour since the show ended, and I can't find a better version. I'll try to update in the morning.

Kris Allen
Kris has slowly but surely been impressing me. I thought he was just a preppy kid that had a decent voice, but he's really showing some style and depth now. His performance of "Ain't No Sunshine" sort of reminded me of what Jason Castro did with "Hallelujah". He really made it so tender . I thought it was beautiful, and all of my worries of it being corny were disproved. The man can play piano as well as guitar! And he's workin' the nasty-stash, it looks surprisingly good on him. This week I found a series of photos from Kris and his church group and a missions trip to Thailand. He looked like such a typical Christian college kid, and I thought during the tenderness of his performance that his wife was probably watching and thinking "My husband is HOT!" because he really has transformed himself.

My faves of the week?
Danny Gokey
Adam Lambert
Kris Allen
Matt Giraud

And - as a plug, watch this youtube video of Rascal Flatt's latest hit, Here Comes Goodbye. It was written by Chris Sligh, the chubby guy with curly hair from American Idol a few seasons ago. Chris Sligh grew up in Europe with the same mission that my hubby's family was with, so we were excited when he made it on the show, and we loved his snarky humor (and the fact that he got kicked out of Pensacola for seeing an FFH concert - what??). In any case, the song is about a breakup, but the music video makes an entirely different point and left me (and Isaac, but don't tell anyone! :)) in tears.

"The Namesake" movie poster

2009-03-30T06:24:00.001-07:00

"The Namesake" movie poster
Originally uploaded by knoopie

Reposted: One of my favorite movies!
The Namesake
By Irfan Khan, Kal Penn, Jagannath Guha, Ruma Guha Thakurta, Tabu

I put The Namesake on our Blockbuster online list, and it came before Christmas. Isaac, however, complained so much that we put off watching it until this week, and we finally got to watch it yesterday. I really don't know why he complained so much, since he liked Monsoon wedding and all the other Indian movies I've had him watch. No faith, I tell you. The Namesake is the story of an arranged marriage in India, and the woman moving with the brand new husband to the US. It shows their marriage, their transition to the US, and the stages of life they go through. Then the focus of the story moves to the couples' son, particularly as he tries to establish his identity as an Indian in the American culture he's grown up in. It is beautiful.

The Namesake is really an artful movie, and it attempts to take the depth of the metaphors found in the book The Namesake and put them in film. It is really beautifully filmed, particularly the parts in India that emphasize the color and culture of the country, and then dwell on the beauty and peace of the Taj Mahal . Watching the growth in the relationship between the husband and wife is really touching - what a beautiful marriage. Then, to watch their dismay at the irreverent and withdrawn attitudes of their American children is also quite believable. The metaphor of shoes is quite striking, and the power of grief, family, and culture are all woven together to create a powerful story.

The Namesake was INCREDIBLE. It is now definitely on my list of favorites. It's not a slick and seamless movie, there are parts where the editing could have been better. What is amazing is the metaphors that are wound through the movie and how intensely personal it is. The author of the book AND the filmmaker must have been working from their own personal cross-cultural experience, because it was incredibly insightful.

It's really not surprising I liked it, since two of my other favorites are also stories of immigration - In America and The Joy Luck Club. This not only deals with the struggles of culture, loneliness, and adjusting, but also to the intense dissonance between the parents and the children who have been raised entirely in America. The theme of tradition, of family, of culture.... my word, it was truly beautiful.

10 Absolutely Essential Books for Christians

2009-03-30T05:27:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite blogs is Beauty and Depravity, a sort of blog about everything by a very cool Korean-American pastor, Eugene Cho. On Friday he posted his own list of 10 Absolutely Essential Books for Christians that was actually much more then 10. It's a very different sort of list than what I see from most people, and is a mix of old and new, edgy and classic.

Which of these books have you read? Do you recommend them? My thoughts below Eugene's list, and I will put an x after all of the books that I have read.

There are so many excellent books that it’s really difficult to condense it into a list of 10. My recommendations are created with an attempt towards the larger picture of Christian discipleship - meaning that I want to balance my list with theology, discipleship, spirituality, biblical studies, etc....

Okay, here’s my List of the 10 Essential Books I’d Recommend every Christian to Read [in no particular order]:

* Testament of Hope - Martin Luther King, Jr.
* Orthodoxy - G.K. Chesterton
* Celebration of Discipleship - Richard Foster (no, but I read Willard, who is practically one long quote from Foster!)
* Mere Christianity - C. S. Lewis
* Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger - Ron Sider
* Wounded Healer or Return of the Prodigal Son - Henri Nouwen
* Dogmatics - Karl Barth [yes, all 13 volumes]
* The Gospel in a Pluralistic Society - Leslie Newbiggen
* The Cost of Discipleship - Dietrich Bonhoeffer
* The Politics of Jesus - John Howard Yoder

Okay. Because I can’t stop at just 10, here’s my Next 10 that I think are also essential reads for all Christians.

* Knowing God - J.I. Packer X
* Theology of Hope - Jurgen Moltmann
* Old Testament Theology - Gerhard von Rad
* The Moral Vision of the New Testament - Richard B. Hays
* A Theology of Liberation - Gustavo Gutierrez
* Irresistable Revolution - Shane Claiborne
* Transforming Missions - David Bosch
* The Jesus I Never Knew or What’s so Amazing About Grace - Phillip Yancey
* Christ and Culture - H. Richard Niebuhr
* Moral Man & Immoral Society - Reinhold Neibuhr

Honorable Mention:

* The Hiding Place [Corrie ten Boom] X
* The Scandal of the Evangelical Mind [Mark Noll] X
* Let Justice Roll Down [John Perkins]
* The Prophetic Imagination [Walter Brueggemann] No, but I have read some of his other writing
* any one of Francis Shaeffer’s trilogy
* Lord of the Rings Trilogy [Tolkien] X
* Surprised by Hope [N.T. Wright]
* Silence [Shusaku Endo] X
* Traveling Mercies [Anne Lamott]
* The Brothers Karamazov [Dostoyevsky] X
* Life Together [Bonhoeffer]

Dang it, I am WAY behind on this reading list! Mere Christianity and Orthodoxy by GK Chesterton are very high on my "MUST Read" list. Moltman, Neibuhr, Schaeffer, Lamott, and Bonhoeffer are close behind. Oh... so much reading to do.

I was not as much of a fan of Knowing God by JI Packer, but I was transformed by reading Mark Nolls perspective on history, and all of the fiction listed is among my favorite writings (particularly Tolkein and Shusaku Endo).

Book Review: Guerrilla Hostage by Denise Siino

2009-03-28T08:58:00.000-07:00

Guerrilla Hostage - The dramatic story of ray rising's ordeal in the Colombian jungle
by Denise Marie Siino

Someone I work with gave me this book, which is the story or Ray Rising's kidnapping and long captivity by Colombian guerrillas. I took interest because I remember my family praying for Ray and his family over those years, and I was interested to hear the full story. I also read the blog of the daughter of another missionary in Columbia that was kidnapped, but her father was killed.

Sadly, I was disappointed by Guerrilla Hostage. It seemed to brush over too much. At times Siino attempted to get into the details of the captivity, but at times it seemed trite. Siino was an LA Times reporter, and it came across like a reporter who was used to writing brief, emotionless story took on a huge drama that was way bigger and more dramatic then she knew how to write. There were scattered stories of Ray's interactions with particular guerrillas, but the characters remained flat and never became familiar, so the interactions were mostly boring. Although we hear of Ray missing his family, the author focuses more on documenting the story vaguely then really grappling with Ray's emotions and questions. They are just stated and then left there.

Ray has a Spanish Bible through almost all of his captivity, and Siino will punctuate her stories with little proof-text revelations. Something will happen, Ray will be confused and disappointed, and then he will think of a certain verse and then Siino gives a couple of sentence long Sunday-school lesson on what it means. I struggled with this because the way the book is written, it makes it seem as though these are particular times that Ray struggled with these particular questions and was answered with this particular scripture. However, he was a captive for nearly three years and he had to leave his journals behind when he left the jungle. It seems more like Siino fitting scripture into her own story and putting these revelations into Ray's mouth rather then Ray actually processing these things himself. It seemed... misleading?

In any case, given that Ray rising was kidnapped and held in the jungle away from his family for years, this story has such potential to be powerful, but instead it felt devoid of real emotion. I wouldn't recommend it unless you already know about Ray and really want to read his story.

The Eagles - Frail Grasp on the Big Picture

2009-03-27T20:33:00.000-07:00

I am self-admittedly slow on the uptake in the music world.

When I got back from a sheltered childhood living on the outskirts of the stone-age, I intentionally tried to catch up with movies, but partly thanks to Linda's collection of 80's Christian music (thaaaaanks roomie! ;)), I'm slow on getting into music. I take recommendations - it was my pastor in Chicago introduced me to U2, my dear friend Simon that hooked me on Counting Crows, a theology prof that introduced Isaac and I to Bob Dylan (still don't like his voice though). This semester Isaac's professors have been all over the Eagles new cd.

This week we sat down and listened seriously to a couple of their songs - "Long Road out of Eden" and "Frail Grasp on the Big Picture". They are going down on my list of mainstream songs that speak more powerful truth then we see in most "Christian" music.

Seriously, "Frail Grasp" is blow-me-away profound. The Eagles didn't write it, and it's actually not even new... but it's amazing.

The song as a while is a prophetic critique of American society, but this verse in particular took my breath away (it is emphasized musically as well). It drives home at our empty and nationalistic religiosity.

And we pray to our Lord
Who we know is American
He reigns from on high
He speaks to us through middlemen
And he shepherds his flock
We sing out and we praise His name
He supports us in war
He presides over football games
And the right will prevail
All our troubles shall be resolved
We have faith in the Lord
Unless there's money or sex involved

Frail grasp on the big picture
Nobody's calling them for roughing up the pitcher
It's a frail grasp on the big picture
Heaven help us

You see what I mean? When I hear songs like this I always want to sit down and talk to the writer. There is such insight here - enough to condemn the misuse of God for our own purposes. What do they think of God outside of how He has been misrepresented here in our culture? Honestly this song was timely, considering two nights ago we sat and had a long chat with Asher and Steph about colonialism, ethnic identity, culture, and faith. When the line "who we know is American" came up, I sat down and took notice. It reminded me of Derek Webb's song "King and a Kingdom", which is directly from a Christian perspective but just as cutting of a cultural critique of evangelicalism in the US.

The lyrics to "Long Road Out of Eden", which is also on the Eagles' new album, is filled with literary and historical references - it's like U2 songs in that I can sit down and analyze them line by line. The end of this song is also a cultural condemnation:

weaving down the american highway
through the litter and the wreckage and the cultural junk
bloated with entitlement, loaded on propaganda
and now we're driving dazed and drunk

been down the road to damascus,
the road to mandalay
met the ghost of caesar on the appian way
he said, "it's hard to stop this bingeing, once you get a taste."
"but the road to empire is a bloody stupid waste."

behold the bitten apple - the power of the tools
but all the knowledge in the world is of no use to fools
and it's a long road out of eden....

Idol and Lost thoughts

2009-03-27T06:05:00.000-07:00

It's super frustrating to have my two shows be at the same night, and to have my small group also on that night.

Lost - He's Our You
I cheated and read some recaps before watching Lost online this morning, so I knew kid Ben got shot. It sucks to watch Sayid be so umm... dark and twisty? lol. Anyways, I thought the most profound comment I read was from TIME.com's James Poniewozik. He comments that what LOST did in the last two episodes is to make you feel genuine sympathy for the show's arch-villain. He says that Lost was more effective in those two hours then Star Wars was in three feature-films, attempting to make the audience sympathize with Anakin.

This show is amazing.

Anyways, I have a distinct feel that Sayid, the flaming bus, and the whole staging of events is about to be "The Incident".

The chick that put Sayid on the plane (who is also in one of my all-time favorite movies - The Namesake) must be working for Widmore, whether she realizes it or not.

This show actually didn't show us much except for the shooting of Ben - the rest of it was mostly drama, which ok with me. We've been on such a wild ride the last couple of weeks, I don't mind if we take it slow for a while.

_________________________________________________

American Idol

This was one of those weeks when someone gets kicked off that wasn't fantastic and should have been kicked off before too long, but sadly had to leave before some people that were definitely worse then him. Scot HAS TO GO. His vocals are way too limited for this stage of the game. Having said that, it was very cool to see him on stage with a blind singer that has definitely made it in the business. What an inspiration that must be for him.

In any case, how did Michael get voted off before Megan? That mystifies me. I loved that he went out with such a great attitude and such a big smile. He really is such a likable guy. On the other hand, Matt Giraud is an amazing singer (reminds me of Jazon Mraz), but when he unexpectedly was called to the bottom three he looked so crestfallen I wanted to hug him. When he continued to look crestfallen, sullen, and sort of like he wanted to punch someone.... then I thought, "Dude, you're trying to get people to LIKE you and sympathize with you, and your childish pouting is seriously not helping your case." Like Kris Allen - I don't think he's amazing, but watching him up there grinning and dancing was so charming I thought, "I really like that guy and I hope he lasts a while." See? Matt. Smile. Genuinely.

Lost thoughts - the smoke monster, the temple, kate's black horse

2009-03-25T15:17:00.000-07:00

I won’t be able to watch Lost tonight, so I’ll try to watch it on Thursday night and blog my response then. However, I have a few questions and thoughts right now, since my office has “Lost for Lunch” days on Wednesday. We started it a good six months ago or so, and are near the beginning of the second season now. For dedicated Lost-watcher like myself, it’s great because I see so many things watching old episodes the second time around.

Today’s rerun was “What Kate Did”, which revealed a number of things – Kate killing her step-father who turns out to be her father, the missing clip in the orientation video, and Walt’s first contact with Michael through the computer in the Hatch, and the rather awkward combination of Kate kissing Jack right after he hears Sawyer saying he loves Kate.

What confused me most about the episode was watching Kate’s “visions” of the black horse. She sees it several times in the episode, both on the island and off of it. Back when I saw the episode the first time I assumed it was a figment of her imagination, since everyone seemed to be having strange visions of people from their past. The weird thing about the black horse is that SAWYER SEES IT TOO. When Sawyer regains consciousness Kate takes him out of the hatch for some fresh air, he looks up sees the horse and comments that maybe he should go back inside. At that comment, Kate looks up and see the horse, and then Sawyer looks at her and asks, “You see it too?” Kate goes up and STROKES the horse, and Sawyer says, “Kate, do you know that horse?” Kate nods the affirmative.

So… here’s the thing. It’s not a figment of her imagination, because Sawyer sees it too. It could be just a horse on the island, because we see horses at other times and know that there’s random animals on the island. However, given that it stands there and responds to her calmly, it really does seem to know her. So… is this a time travelling horse?

The other thing is – some of the “apparitions” seem to have actually been the smoke monster. Is the horse one of these?

Speaking of the smoke monster, I just cannot figure it out. There seem to be two things that appear as a smoke monster, but sometimes I think it’s just little explosions that either Dharma or the hostiles are setting off to scare people. Other times… there is definitely a smoke monster, known as Smokey to the fans and Cerberus to the Dharma initiative. The appearance of Yemi in particular seems to embody the monster. Yemi/Smokey challenges Eko’s belief that he is really his brother, and then suddenly the smoke monster appears and kills Eko. It would appear that Eko WAS the smoke monster.

Danielle says that the monster is a security system, and it’s interesting that the Dharma Initiative’s security system seems to be built partly to keep the monster out. And, at one point when Ben is trying to repel the invading forces from the Dharma compound, he disappears into a secret door in his house that reveals a stone doorway covered with hieroglyphics. When he reappears, covered in dust, the monster shows up and decimates Keamy and his mercenaries. Ben seems to either control or know how to unleash the monster, and he’s doing it through a tunnel that seems connected to the same stone and hieroglyphics that we see in the Temple, which is where the monster sucked a member of the French team into.

What IS the temple?? It seems like it was there before Dharma, perhaps from the four-toed statue days? The temple seems to recognize some sort of power and it must be significant, because at the end of Season III Ben told all of the Others to head to the Temple, saying it might be the last safe place on the Island. At that point, most of the Others didn’t know where it was, only Ben and Richard, and Ben said the Losties shouldn’t go there, just the Others. Hmmm. It’s also in a territory that Rousseau has dubbed “The Dark Territory”, and it holds her camp, the Black Rock, and the area where the Monster is most active. On the Island map on the blast door, the area is labeled "Primary nexus of Cerberus related activity",

Will the temple end of being the source of the mystical/spiritual aspect of the show? They’ve definitely emphasized that scientific aspect this season, but the Monster and the Temple still hold a lot of mystery.

Australia - The Movie

2009-03-24T09:16:00.001-07:00

Australia - The Movie
Originally uploaded by bigandsmallscreen

I expected Australia to be a sweeping epic drama set in the outback of Australia that was cinematically beautiful and perhaps with some of the melodrama of another Nicole Kidman flick - Far and Away.

With those expectations in mind, Australia surprised me. It was a long, cinematically beautiful film set mostly in the outback, but especially in the first half it was also whimsical and clever, with some of the spastic timing that Baz Luhrman seems to like so much.

I laughed a lot, and I really didn't expect to laugh at all.

The first half of the movie is about Nicole Kidman's character coming to Australia to take charge of her husband's dealings with Far-Away-Downs, a plot of the land in the far north of Australia. On her arrival she finds a bit of a motley crew is running the place and her husband has been killed, and then discovers that her livestock is being stolen by a corrupt employee. I won't reveal what all happens next, but it is an interesting story.

The movie dealt honestly with the treatment of Aborigines without being heavy-handed. I appreciated Drover's character who is totally comfortable in the Aboriginal world and is able to recognize the importance of the traditions that form the identity of their people.

It was just... a good movie. Fun to watch. I mean... that really isn't surprising considering how much air time Hugh Jackman gets.

Oops, did I just say that out loud?

But really, probably the best acting is done by the little guy who plays Nullah.

He is just an adorable kid, and is so believable and impish the entire time. I love his accent and the way he says, "Them white fellas..." It's Nullah's character that really makes the movie stand out.

The strange thing is that the first half of the story feels like a succinct plot, and after the climax and resolution of that drama it really feels like the movie should be ending, when really you've just finished the first half. A second story-line begins at this point and is much heavier and more dramatic, this time set in the Japanese bombing of Darwin. Both parts of the movie were enjoyable, but it was strange to have two distinct stories.

Anyways, I recommend the movie.

Book Review: Song of Saigon: One Woman's Journey to Freedom

2009-03-21T08:30:00.000-07:00

Reposted book review from my former blog
Song of Saigon: One Woman's Journey to Freedom
By Anh Vu Sawyer, Pam Proctor

So I just finished this book - flew through it. I keep reading books that unexpectedly intersect with my life. This woman's story is incredible. She begins with the somewhat miraculous tale of pushing through crowds and somehow ending up with her ENTIRE family on one of the last helicopters out of Saigon when the US pulled out of Vietnam.

Then she goes back and begins with the story of her grandfather, an angry opium addict who goes through detox under a missionary and becomes a committed Christian, builds a big happy family, and becomes head over all of Vietnam's railroads.

Then the story of her mother, a spunky woman who falls in love and then loses that life when the battle between the French and the communists breaks out. She ends up marrying a communist leader who had once been imprisoned by the Japanese in the same "Hanoi Hilton" prison in which John McCain was later held. He defects to the French in the end, and that story leads into the moment when he, his wife, and their children get out of the country on the helicopter.

In the journey out of refugee camps, they are adopted by a church in west Chicago. She has an offer to be cared for on her own by a guy who wants to pay her way to medical school. In the end the family turns down that offer for keeping the family together, and he ends up stalking her - and is later arrested for being part of a prostitution ring that preyed on the Vietnamese refugee girls. Yuck. In any case, one of the church women who helps her with the stalker thing is "Mrs. Ritchie", which I realized is the SAME as the wife of the guy who wrote "God in the Pits" that I read a few months back. Wow - that guy was an mk from Afghanistan, and his passion for refugees led him to lead his church into adopting Vietnamese refugees and helping them integrate into society. The rest of the book I knew I was looking at a life that was totally transformed by the passion of Mr. Ritchie, who is awfully like me in his cynicism about the church but love for people overseas. Cool.

In any case, the main character goes to Wheaton for a year, where she gets to know EVERYONE (I can just picture it, we had a few international students like that at my Bible college) and is entirely clothed by the missionary barrel (yep, me too). She falls in love with the most unconventional boy on campus - who is unconventional enough to be labeled by the student body as a "homosexual", a word that she doesn't understand for 10 more years. In any case, he is not, and after several years of long distance dating, they marry and move to inner city NY, where she works for a travel company and becomes a total fashionista (crazy life!). She said she would use her weekends to fly to Boston and shop all Saturday at Filene's basement for shoes, which just cracks me up.

The story goes on, but what a life she led! The ins and outs of what she goes through in light of her family history is really amazing. I love autobiographies.

Book Reviews: Lipstick Jihad, Wild Swans, Churched, Spirit of the Rainforest

2009-03-20T13:55:00.000-07:00

Reposted from my old blog - Christmas break reading reviews

Wild Swans - by June Chang
This book was excellent. June has written about her family history in China, focusing on the women. It's just stunning - her grandmother was the concubine with bound feet for a warlord. Her mother was a passionate underground worker for the Communist revolution. She married another passionate revolutionary and together they rose into leadership in the communist party and wow... reading their story is really fascinating. Such people of great principle and self-sacrifice! June's story begins as a child in Communist China, and the family story quickly sours as Mao's rule turns its back on its own heroes in the Cultural Revolution. It was really enlightening to see how she viewed Mao and Communism and the West, and how her perspective slowly changed. I LOVE history and life stories, and this was a perfect combination of both, and was really educational in the process.

Lipstick Jihad - Azadeh Moaveni
Eh. This is the autobiography of an Iranian American who goes back to Iran to be a reporter. That story in and of itself has so much potential, but to me it just seemed like an overly narcissistic rambling memoir without much depth to it. It tries, but it falls short.

Churched: One Kid's Journey Towards God Despite A Holy Mess - Matthew Paul Turner
I gotta tell you, this was hard for me to read. I think the title is misleading. Matthew Turner is actually telling the story of his childhood in a very conservative fundamentalist atmosphere. Although the stories are actually very funny and entertaining (mostly because of how ludicrous many of these well-meaning fundamentalists were) they make me feel sick. The atmosphere I grew up in is not this conservative, but I am still very aware of fundamentalism and its flaws. The way God was represented to a generation of fundamentalist kids just... makes me feel sick. There is hope in the last chapter, and the author says that he is now very wary of much of church, but has been pursued by loving, authentic people that have really brought about redemption. That's great, but .... there is enough truth in the book that hits close enough to home for it to be a difficult read for me.

Spirit of the Rainforest: A Yanomamo Shaman's Story - Mark Richie
This book was a really good book. At first I thought it was going to be a missionary story, but it is not. Mark Richie (who I actually met last year before I even knew this book existed) is retelling the story of the life of a Yanomamo shaman, and it is autobiographical based on hours and hours of recorded interviews. In the process the shaman tells the story of his people as missionaries, priests, and anthropologists arrive in their remote jungle villages and begin to influence the Yanomamo with their various perspectives.

The book is fascinating for several reasons. First of all, it is a middle ground between two competing sides. We hear missionary stories all the time, and we hear anthropological perspectives about tribal life. In fact, one of the main characters in the story is the anthropologist Napoleon Chagnon who wrote the most well-read anthropology book of all time about the Yanomamo. This book shows you what the Yanomamo think about all sides - it identifies the hypocrisy of some missionaries, the cultural bias of the anthropologists, and the caught-between cultures Yanomamo, who neither want to give up their identity or be forced to remain in what they consider to be lives filled with suffering.

It IS the perspective of a shaman turned Christian. He only joins the followers of "Yai Pada" in his old age, and hearing about his spiritual perspective as a shaman is shocking for me - it is unbelievable to my naturalist mind. At the same time, hearing how he perceives the message of Christianity from a spirit-filled perspective is really really interesting.

It was a good book. It made me mad and it made me think and it made me pray.

Lost - "Namaste"

2009-03-19T05:53:00.000-07:00

I have loved the last few weeks and getting so many answers so quickly, but it's nice to have time slow down and to have most of our friends back on the island.

*oh dang, I just wrote "our friends" without even thinking about it. I'm too into this show*

The other thing I LOVE is finally getting to see Sawyer at the forefront. He's been my favorite character since season one, and while I love him as a snarky rebel, it's interesting to see him as the guy who knows what's going on. He's sure testy with Jack, though, so the rough edges are most certainly not smoothed over. Any votes as to how the dynamics of Sawyer and Juliet and Jack and Kate will play out? Given that I'm a Sawyer fan, I vote for a complicated switcheroo so that Juliet and Jack end up together, and the two cons keep each other company.

My question is, since we have just met young Ben, is older Ben acting off of the things that younger Ben learned from our Losties in the 70's? This also reveals why Ben knows so much about the Losties when they arrive on the island. Initially I thought he received full life bios from outside the island, but it may just be that he met them all when he was young and knows their whole stories already. I think it's quite likely that in the rest of this season we see some sort of complicated involvement between the Losties and little Ben - who looks strikingly like the young Harry Potter.

Another big question is - why didn't Sun get sucked through time like the rest of our people? Hmm... I don't get that.

And finally, this question was asked by the What's Alan Watching Lost recap. Where are Bernard and Rose and the dog?

American Idol the top 11

2009-03-18T14:55:00.001-07:00

American Idol the top 11
Originally uploaded by AzitasSurprises

Country music week is always interesting on Idol, because generally at least 2/3 of the singers have NO idea how to sing country. Madness ensues, with much griping from the judges and creative arrangements from the contestants trying to "make it my own".

This was my least favorite week so far, but there were a few stand-outs.

Michael Sarver: He's a solid contestant, though not the best singer. He's got the down-home reputation and the good looks to boost the votes. This week his rendition of "Ain't Goin' Down til the Sun Comes Up" was decent but not great.

Allison Iraheta sang “Blame it on Your Heart” by Patti Loveless and she did a good job as usual. I just cannot believe her voice is coming out of a 16 year old body. It's unbelievable. Considering that she's totally not a country kind of girl, she did just fine. I think she's going all the way to the end.

Kris Allen sang another crowd-pleasing but not very powerful song, “To Make You Feel My Love” written by Bob Dylan. Simon calls him a puppy and I agree. I like his style because I like easy-listening pop, but lets be honest, Kris isn't an unusually good singer, he's just a charming guy with a guitar and a decent voice.

Lil Rounds is a powerhouse singer, and she picked “Independence Day” by Martina McBride. for some reason Lil has never wowed me, I feel like she's lacking an emotional connection to the songs and the audience. In any case, she didn't do so well with country music, and I think she might be at risk this week.

Adam Lambert ..... oh my word. I think this was probably a good choice for him because he's going for the rocker bad-boy image, and he achieved that this week by totally turning his nose up at country music and completely changing "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash into a sitar-backed haunting middle-eastern rock song. It was.... SO WEIRD. The judges didn't know how to react and I bet most of America didn't know how to either. However, he gets points for gutsyness AND he hit some bone-chillingly high haunting notes that he hit DEAD ON. His freakish performance deserves a youtube preview...

Scott MacIntyre went with another Martina McBride song, “Wild Angels.” I think Scott does not have a good enough voice to make it through another week. There. I said it. Yes, he's inspiring as a blind piano player/singer, but he doesn't have enough control, people!!

Alexis Grace took on "Jolene", which is a great song by Dolly Parton, and ... it sucked. Didn't like it. Her voice cracked. Kick her off. Well... maybe not. She's still got a great voice and this was her worst week by far, so maybe she'll redeem herself.

Danny Gokey is one of my favs, and he took on “Jesus Take the Wheel" by Carrie Underwood, which is a song I have grudgingly given a second chance. It wasn't his best performance at all.... but I think he's normally fantastic and this time was just ok. He'll be fine. Everyone loves him.

Anoop Desai surprised me by lasting through last week, but he totally impressed everyone when he did a beautiful version of “You Were Always on my Mind” by Willie Nelson. It was a good choice for him to go with a soft ballad and hit it dead-on.... he connected emotionally. Now if he can just do a repeat performance next week, maybe I will have regained my faith in him.... hmm...

Megan Joy Corkery went with Patsy Cline's, “Walking After Midnight", and I think it was a good choice because it fits well with her raspy, unique voice. Unfortunately, her raspy voice was weakened by apparently being in the hospital with the flu. It was a weak performance, not as bad-ass as I think it would have been if she had been totally healthy. Oh, and Megan? Put some clothes on.

Matt Giraud is strange for me, because I can never remember him when I'm mentally going through the contestants. Every week he sings a decent song that the judges praise and I am ok with, but then I can barely remember it the next week. This time he sand “So Small” by Carrie Underwood, and yet again the judges loved it and Isaac (my husband) hated it, and I thought it was ok. Hmmm... do you guys like him?

My faves of the week?
Anoop Desai
Adam Lambert
Danny Gokey
Allison Ireheta

Fireproof - a review

2009-03-17T06:37:00.001-07:00

Fireproof 33/365
Originally uploaded by theboywholaughs

Isaac and I finally watched Fireproof this past weekend, after letting it sit on our TV for literally months.

Part of us didn't want to see it, because cheesiness in Christian media is SOOOO annoying. As Isaac put it, it is was just a cheesy movie it would be a cheesy movie and it would be fine... whatever. But when it is a cheesy movie that is representing and creating an image of what the church, the gospel, and followers of Christ are like - then cheesiness is cringe-inducing and we generally avoid it altogether. I don't want to be too critical of my brothers and sisters in the Christian media world, but I do believe that what we believe is incredibly powerful, meaningful, and intricate. When our presentations of our beliefs come out trite, cheesy, or simplistic, we misrepresent the gospel. That's why I struggle with much of our Christian media world in the US.

However, we did want to see Fireproof because it has deeply affected some of our friends, particularly those that have struggled in their marriages. I know people for whom watching Fireproof has been a real turning point, and I know people who have cried the whole way through the movie.

So on Friday night Isaac and I sat down with our Lou Malnati's pizza (which Josh and Kathryn brought frozen all the way from Chicago!) and prepared ourselves to cringe a little, knowing that this movie HAS done some good. And yeah, we did start out cringing. I decided that it wasn't so much that the acting started out bad but that the production and editing was bad. The first 15-20 minutes had the feeling of a church skit, you know what I mean? It was tough to get INTO the story. I realized that they rarely put music in the background, which is something that we are very used to having in our movies and it made it feel awkward. It also started off very dramatic, trying to show the anger and conflict between this young married couple. While it was realistic conflict it just felt like a drama, and I decided they needed to bring in some humor to balance the drama and make it feel true-to-life.

And after about 20 minutes, they did. Suddenly the production got better, some humor lightened the mood without taking away from the gravity of the situation, and Isaac and I finally got into the story. In my opinion, the power of the movie is when it is targetted to the church and our marriages. The divorce rate in the US is just as high within the church, and Fireproof does an excellent job at showing realistic marital conflict and loss of hope, but then also teaching how to love, how to be tender, and how to turn a marriage around. There is hope and beauty in it. It is really challenging in its presentation of the "Love Dare" and watching Kirk Cameron try to woo his wife day by day, even when she is not responding. That was cool.

This is going to sound awful, but I wish they had kept the "conversion moments" out of the movie. Those moments are obviously in there to show that true hope and healing is found only in knowing Christ, and I agree with that. However, I also think that there is great power in STORY to teach, and I think the story of the healed marriage would be a clear testimony in and of itself to those who are watching. It felt to me like those "salvation" moments sort of rubbed it in the face of the watchers rather then letting the beauty speak for itself. Then there's the fact that I think the "moment of salvation" and the "pray the prayer" mentality can sometimes be harmful when THAT becomes the focus, rather then calling people to a lifetime of discipleship, of following Christ and growing to know Him.

I think Fireproof is most powerful in its message about love and marriage, but it is not an easy watching experience. It's sort of like watching The Breakup - it's too serious and too realistic to be enjoyable watching, but Fireproof ends with hope. It is in-your-face enough that most non-Christians will probably not enjoy it, and I know several that would be very angered by it. It reaches its audience, though, and it does portray a message effectively, though perhaps not in the best way... or at least not in my preferred way. :)

Latest Music - Ben Rector, Brad Paisley, Jon Hans, and Over the Rhine

2009-03-15T13:24:00.000-07:00

For the first time in my life, really, I have a car to drive back and forth to work. Some friends in our small group are loaning it to us, and it is AMAZING to have my own transportation. Life changing. In more ways then one. Dinner gets done on time, the errands are run on time, I get more sleep, and.... last but not least.... I get to listen to Cd's in the car.

I have been enjoying some new stuff recently.

Ben Rector is feel-good mellow pop that is hard not to like. He came to the Jr. High retreat I was at a few weeks ago and did a live concert, and all of the Jr. high girls were swooning over him. It turned out that he was pretty good and just my style, so I bought his CD and have been listening to it constantly. He's still sort of unknown and thrives in small performance venues.

I got Brad Paisley's latest CD for my birthday and yet again, I think I like the entire album. Brad was my first foray into country and my first (and only) country music concert. I love that his songs are INTERESTING... they are generally either sarcastic and funny or a sweet narrative that can at times bring me to tears. On this CD the Mr. Policeman song makes me laugh out loud every time...

Then there's the very surreal experience of listening to Jon Hans's first professionally recorded stuff. Jon is an old friend from high school, and hearing his professional music is so strange because I have vivid memories of practicing a song that we co-wrote for our graduation ceremony. To be honest, I think it was a horrible performance by both of us, though heart-felt. I hope that video never gets out! Jon's voice is so much smoother now, but still has that raw edge to it. He went to music school in Hollywood, traveled the world surfing and performing... he's one of those people whose life is one big crazy story.

Last but not least is Over the Rhine. I finally got an Over The Rhine cd for Christmas. I have been wanting to add them to my repertoire for years now. It's amazing to me that OTR is still mostly considered indie music, but I did hear one of their songs on the radio for the first time last week. I LOVE their soft, ethereal sound. You can pull up their record player on their site to get a feel for their style and sound. I had to listen to this song, "Jesus in New Orleans", multiple times. I mused over what she was saying in it and have come away amazed by it. Someday I'll put together a CD of music that subtly gives out beautiful messages of truth and grace.

The last time I saw Jesus
I was drinking bloody Marys in the South
In a barroom in New Orleans
Rinsin' out the bad taste in my mouth

She wore a dark and faded blazer
With a little of the lining hanging out
When the jukebox played Miss Dorothy Moore
I knew that it was him without a doubt

I said the road is my redeemer
I never know just what on earth I'll find
In the faces of a stranger
In the dark and weary corners of a mind

She said, The last highway is only
As far away as you are from yourself
And no matter just how bad it gets
It does no good to blame somebody else

Ain't it crazy
What's revealed when you're not looking all that close
Ain't it crazy
How we put to death the ones we need the most

I know I'm not a martyr
I've never died for anyone but me
The last frontier is only
The stranger in the mirror that I see

But when I least expect it
Here and there I see my savior's face
He's still my favorite loser
Falling for the entire human race

Ain't it crazy
What's revealed when you're not looking all that close
Ain't it crazy
How we put to death the ones we need the most

Every time I sit down to listen to OTR I walk away shaking my head at their subtle lyrics...

Book Review - Sons and Lovers by D.H. Lawrence

2009-03-14T09:56:00.000-07:00

- reposted from my old blog -

I loved this book. It reminded me again of my love for classic English literature. I love the realism in it.
Warning: the book deals with sex. I talk about it. If you're sensitive to that sort of stuff, don't read it.

"Sons and Lovers" is essentially about relationships. I thought it was going to focus on the relationships of the mother in the book, because the first part deals with her marriage and the stages it goes through - the disintegration of love, essentially, and what it's like to be a woman and have to rely on a man. Then it focuses on her relationship with her sons, and how she transfers that longing for love and hope for the future to her sons, to whom she is an amazing mother. In fact, TOO good of a mother, because the second half of the book is about one of the sons. Lawrence wrote the book to reflect his own relationships with his mother and then lovers, and you can see him trying to process that question we all ask, "Why do I do what I do?"

He was affected by Freud, who he knew through his lover (in real life), and he recognizes that his mother loved him too much, and the co-dependant relationship is like that of lovers without ever being sexual. He recognizes that this leaves him quite dysfunctional in the two relationships that Lawrence has, which are reflected by the two relationships that the son, Paul, goes through in the book.

My predominant reaction going through the book was frustration the character's actions even when I loved them, which is a good thing, it's a sign of being sucked in to the story. The mother is held up as a bit of a long-suffering heroine matched to a loser drunk, but I was even frustrated with her. She's married to a simple man, but a man of joy and loyalty and fun... he's quite quaint. She scorns his simpleness, and I kept thinking... gosh, if she would love him for who he is instead of scorn him because of what he's not, perhaps he'd stay at home instead of heading to the pub for drinks. I think that she ruins him. If she had chosen to love and invest in him even after realizing his flaws, he probably would have blossomed under that love.

And then it was frustrating to feel how trapped the mother is in her life as a woman in that time. She is an incredibly strong woman, and independent. She runs her home and raises her children and holds them together when the father is virtually MIA and totally useless, and begins beating her at times. What option does she have, though? She CAN'T leave, because she can't work. As a woman, she has no place to go where she could actually support a family if she left her husband, even in the worst of the abuse and neglect. I'm certainly glad to live in this day and age as a woman.

Paul, the son, is an incredibly introspective man who longs for beauty and love and connection, but struggles to love while he is so loyal to his mother, and she jealously holds him to her even as he's tentatively looking for a wife. It's so annoying, because you know the mother has placed so much hope in her son and therefore wants to hold him above a woman who might ruin him. In doing so, though, she IS ruining him, because he longs for a woman and yet can't give himself fully while his mother holds him back. Then, when he turns to a woman who will love him physically, the mother accepts this because it doesn't involve his soul, only his body. This also is devastating, though, because the body only satisfies for so long and the soul cries out for a deeper connection, a deeper love.

Reading of Paul's relationships made me SO thankful for Isaac and the way he loves me. Paul's first girl is a childhood friend who is also incredibly introspective, and they connect in a really REALLY deep way. They understand each other, seem to peer into each other's souls. They do this for years, all the time seeming to prepare for a life together, they seem made for it. One reason it doesn't work is Paul's loyalty to his mother, who hates the girl for her hold on Paul. The other reason, though, is the way the girl has idealized this spiritual connection that she and Paul have, and yet divorced it from sexuality. They are both raised in a puritanical religious environment, and the girl absorbs that puritanical revulsion towards sex. It is demeaned as an uncontrollable bodily urge that is essentially dirty. She realizes, though, that if she wants to keep Paul, after 7 years he as a man loves her and wants her. She has to give herself to keep him, so she does, but she does it as if she were a martyr going through a willing sacrifice for her lover.

Lawrence's description of this is amazing. He describes how Paul feels like he is dying as he realizes that when they should be fulfilling the height of love, connecting soul, spirit, and body..... she has essentially removed her self in horror. She is there in body but it was like her soul was just standing by and waiting until his physical lust was gone. Paul's grief here is so intense, because he DOES love the girl and does long to have her, all of her, and realizes that though she loves him intensely she won't love him physically, but only submit to him. SAD. I grieved for him. I worry often about the women I knew at Moody and at what they might do to their man if they go into marriage with that attitude.

Paul reacts by following his lover's example - he also begins to satisfy himself but remove his soul during the act of sex. Lawrence says at one point that the woman realizes that he isn't seeing her, Miriam, as a person, he has divorced her from the picture and is making love only to a woman. Again, sad. I have never had that experience and the description was striking to me.

This split between body and soul is too much for Paul, in the end, and he runs quickly to the opposite extreme. He meets a divorced woman who is beautiful and withdrawn because of how society has judged her. They fall madly "in love" (read: infatuated) and she is a willing and passionate lover in a way that seems to satisfy his very soul after the wrenching experiences of loving and feeling shame with the last woman. This physical love is powerful stuff, healing wounds in him but also in her from her divorce. I think Lawrence is right - most men long for a baptism in a fire of passion - they imagine loving so much and connecting equally powerfully sexually.

It's interesting reading Lawrence's description here, because he doesn't seem to be able to piece together why in his own life this deep, intense, and satisfying physical love is not enough, in the end. He seems to think that it should have been. In the end, though, it falls apart because they have no claim on each other. She won't remarry because of a lingering tie to her ex, even though she clearly loves Paul. He can never claim her and have her has his own. She realizes that while she has all of him when they are lovemaking, in life she can't touch his soul or understand him the way the previous girl could. They slowly feel alienated from each other, and it doesn't work.

See the power of it all? It is an intense, descriptive, and insightful work. It could be used in a counseling class about relationships. :) I loved it.

Jorge Nunez eliminated??

2009-03-12T10:09:00.000-07:00

Dang it, now I wish I had actually voted! I didn't get to watch last night's show (Wednesdays are small group, so I always miss both Idol and Lost). I just saw that Jasmine Murray and Jorge Nunez were eliminated.

Seriously??

I thought Jasmine had such poise and a fantastic voice, and several of the guys should have been kicked off before her.

Jorge... oh man, that sucks. Scott and Anoop both were worse this week. I will miss him.

Here's the emotional Jorge scene that made me love the man (though it is so not politically correct).

and his performance last week, which I loved:

American Idol 2009 Top 13

2009-03-11T13:45:00.000-07:00

Isaac and I have been watching Idol for the last two years and I love it. For all the haters who say the contestants can't sing, there is now a pretty long list of successful artists that have come out of Idol.

In any case, I LOVE this group of finalists.

My favorite:
Danny Gokey

I think a lot of people like Danny, and Idol has certainly hyped up his back story. His wife died within the last year, and he auditioned soon afterwards. He's a worship leader for a ministry in Milwaukee, but what I like best about him is his voice and his personality. He has that easy-going sarcasm that reminds me of Chris Sligh, and he hasn't wavered on a song yet.

Michel Sarver is similar to Danny Gokey

Michael is also a worship leader and his back story as a hard-working Texas country boy from the oil fields has also been played up. He's got a great voice and I like him, but it bugs me that I feel like he's rolling through more on his looks at the moment then on his performances.

Then there's Alison Iraheta:

She blows me away. When she is being interviewed she's a giggly 16 year old who is trying to be cool but is mostly sort of geeky cute. When the music starts, though, she is more polished then almost all of the other contestants, she looks like she's 28, and she can ROCK. It's amazing.

I love love love Jorge Nunez, even though his performance this week wasn't the best.

Jorge is from Puerto Rico and last week when he rocked his performance and the judges praised him, I loved it when he dissolved into tears and couldn't find the English words to express his emotions. So cute. I just want to hug him. He reminds me of my friend Ana.

Megan Joy is an interesting one. I generally like the girls less and be biased towards anyone of non-Caucasian background (just bein' honest... and I'm Caucasian... ) because they seem more interesting.

Megan, though, has a really cool voice that I could see myself listening to on the radio. She didn't get rave reviews yesterday so I really hope she makes it through - I love her style.

Adam Lambert is a weird performer that is hard for me to like.

He lost the eye liner this week and I hope he stays away from it more often because it looks terrible on him and without it he's actually a good-lookin' guy. His look just kills me - he looks like the kids at my cousin's high school that are wealthy and spoiled but want to be rebels, so they wear the tight jeans and spike their hair and wear leather, but really are just kids from the burbs. Besides, Adam is like 27, so he should really get over it. His voice is awesome, though.

One of my favs that I don't think will make it past this week is Anoop Desai

Anoop is Indian-American and from UNC, and he cracks me up. I think he's in over his head right now, and has reached the limit of his talents. Time to go. Sorry Noop-dog.

There's a few others, but these are the ones I wanted to comment on in particular

So... we'll see. I say this week we lose Anoop and Scot MacIntyre, who is an amazing piano player (and is blind - incredible!), but I'm not sold on the quality of his voice.

The Bachelor finale

2009-03-02T20:40:00.000-08:00

Oh yes we did, Isaac and I watched the finale of the Bachelor. The first bit was filled with gag-inducing declarations of eternal love ("this is so real") from Our Bachelor Jason Mesnick to TWO different women, and from both of them to him. Isaac so appreciated the eloquent celebration of love that he proceeded to compose his own soliloquy of adoration to something... something like his computer, but it wasn't his computer, we just forgot what it was already. Well, that's sort of ironic, considering Jason seemed for forget his declaration of love and PROPOSAL to Melissa just about as quickly.

The second section of the show hyped up the drama and showed the unprecedented scene of Jason breaking up with Melissa six weeks after the proposal... in front of the camera. Isaac and I yelled at him. So did Melissa. Props to her - she called him what he actually is. Then he made doe-eyes at the girl he'd rejected six weeks ago and told her he still loved her, and they proceeded to make out like the camera wasn't there, and I announced that the whole thing was set up, and Isaac and I vowed to never watch the show again.

Jason's conclusion was that the most important thing is to follow your heart.... and I observed that that really had worked out well for him, since his first following of his heart led in divorce, the second left him dumped on public TV a year ago, and now he just looked like an a** on public tv by reversing his own proposal. Hmm...

Follow your heart... the heart is deceitful above all things.... hmmm..

Valkyrie

2009-02-28T21:19:00.000-08:00

Isaac and I watched Valkyrie last night at the discount theater in Plano, and it was awesome. Nice change from the chick flicks we've been seeing recently. Tom Cruise was better then he usually is (I'm not usually a fan), and from our research afterwards we figure that the movie stayed with the true story. Still, most people (us included) don't know the details of the story so you're still on the edge of your seat the whole time.

It is just SO crazy how many attempts there were on Hitler's life. As a viewer you just shake your internal fist at the screen and at God. WHY didn't those attempts succeed? Even this late attempt was 9 months before the allies took over, but those 9 months would have saved the lives of people like Anne Frank!

*sigh*...

In any case, it is questions like that that make WWII movies so riveting. This movie is quality and I think it'd be good for teens as long as they don't scare too easily. It is intense but not TOO violent and pretty clean otherwise. Good history as well.

Re-posted from my old blog: On Golden Pond

2009-02-27T11:26:00.001-08:00

On Golden Pond (Special Edition)
By Katharine Hepburn, Henry Fonda, Jane Fonda, Doug McKeon, Dabney Coleman

Last night while I was attempting to organize our living room (which is still filled with boxes) Isaac decided to put in the old movie "On Golden Pond" which has Kathryn Hepburn and one of the two main characters. It was Isaac's great-aunt's movie and she was giving it all away, so we just put it on our shelf and didn't watch it... until today.

It was awesome! It's a feel good movie, sort of a Hallmark story except actually made well. I think what is unique about it is that it centers on two very old characters, and Hollywood just doesn't like to deal with that age-group. I can think of just a couple of movies that do it well. In any case, Katherine Hepburn's character is my hero, and rarely have I seem a marriage so beautiful on screen. Isaac commented that evangelicals would love it except that they swear up a storm at each other, something that really made us laugh. Actually from the very beginning of the movie we were laughing SO hard at their stubborn insults to each other and comparing our personalities to theirs.

I highly recommend it. Great movie.

Ben Walanka on Hell's Kitchen

2009-02-27T11:22:00.000-08:00

Having discovered that I actually know one of the chefs on Hell's Kitchen this season, I sat down to watch the show last night. Oh man, it brought back so many memories. My friend Kelley (who is quite the chef herself) is right to note that Hells Kitchen is more about the drama and cussing then about the actual cooking. Gordon Ramsey's character (and I do think it's a character) is absolutely ridiculous. However, I do think the show reflects the reality of the intensity, drama, and social order of the kitchens of high class dining establishments.

In some ways a chef's world is like the military. You can start out with no training and work your way up by working hard and being disciplined and ambitious. A head chef is an unquestionable authority. When he gives out an order, it is meant to be obeyed immediately, and anything he says is usually responded to with a military-like barked response, "Yes CHEF!"

Here are my brief thoughts:
- Chefs lead a crazy life with crazy hours, intense pressure, and lots of competition
- Chefs typically have a HUGE ego.
- A kitchen is just as dramatic as a hospital emergency room or a trading floor in a stock exchange.
- I loved working the culinary industry. I thrived on the craziness and the sense of community.

A chef's life is strange. When dinner service starts there are several hours of non-stop chaos in the kitchen. Some food can be prepped ahead of time, but most of it must be cooked to order and it must be perfect to meet the standards of a high-class establishment. A few minutes too long in the oven and the meat will be over cooked. If a chef runs to get the meat out of the oven and leves his vegetables sauteeing on the stove, they might burn. Even putting the food on the plate must be perfect - presentation is crucial and yet must be done in seconds.

Not only do they keep moving for hours in the steamy heat of a kitchen, they are also responding to the constantly barked requests of the servers, the hostess, and the head chef. Often dishes are returned to the kitchen and have to be re-done, which is usually where a night in the kitchen can turn into a disaster. The head chef's reputation rides on the actions of the rest of his chefs, so the line cooks and sous chefs are under intense pressure to perform perfectly. All it takes is one bad review to bring down the reputation of an entire restaurant.

On Hell's Kitchen last night Ben got in trouble multiple times with Gordon Ramsey, and watching their interchanges made me giggle. Gordon would be like, "Get over here you fat f***, what have you done with this? I don't want to ever see anything like this again!" Then Ben would reply, "Yes chef! I'm sorry chef! I messed up, it will never happen again Chef!" Gordon Ramsey may be unusually uncouth for a head chef, but the strict chain of authority and Ben's response is absolutely realistic. I had to laugh because I have stood five feet from Ben and heard the exact things come out of his mouth before.

Ben was one in a string of chefs that ran our members-only Club at the Symphony Center in Chicago. It was only open on Symphony nights, so the chef was on loan from the fine-dining restaurant downstairs. It was crazy because everyone arrived just in time to have dinner right before attending the Symphony, so there was intense pressure to be done on time. Not only that, but these are the rich and famous - a veritable who's who of Chicago's big shots. They expected their food to be perfect, and there was intense criticism when anything went wrong. Because of that, the head chef from the restaurant downstairs would often come up to make sure everything was running smoothly. When it wasn't... he was PISSED. He didn't blow up like Ramsey, but he did bark orders and let his displeasure be known. Ben would bark his apologies and move to barking orders to his own subordinates. When it was finally over he would settle back into his jovial, easy-going self. He is a bit of a loud-mouth, though, so I really am not surprised to find him on tv as quite a controversial character. I hope he stays on for a while, it's fun watching someone you actually know!

I know someone on Hell's Kitchen!

2009-02-26T12:47:00.000-08:00

Check it OUT! I'm super excited. I don't watch Hell's Kitchen, but for the last two weeks anytime I see an ad for it I keep seeing a chef in some of the shots that looks SO familiar. I finally looked him up today, and I was right.
http://www.fox.com/hellskitchen/bios/s5-Ben.htm

He's Ben, who was the chef when I worked at the members-only Club at the Chicago Symphony Center. He was on loan from Rhapsody on those days, and was a big, boistrous guy. Super talkative, always joking. If I remember right, he and I had a funny relationship because a Moody student was actually his babysitter when he was a kid. His dad is some rich businessman in Chicago, and Moody students babysit all over the city. So the babysitter was actually a guy on the Moody soccer team, and Ben used to go to Moody and hang out in the cafeteria and sometimes play soccer with the guys. He's Jewish, and he said he used to get a kick at the reactions of the Moody students when he'd swear.

I was at that point very close to denying I was ever associated with Moody, so when he found out I went there I was so embarassed. He reassured me that he loved Moody, it was so fun.
In any case, he was such a personality that I just might have to start watching the show to see how it goes for him.

Lost Update - The Christ-type of John Locke

2009-02-26T09:50:00.000-08:00

This show is incredible. It's amazing how complicated the plot gets, and how rarely the producers make mistakes. AND... everything seems to mean something... eventually...

Incredible.

Anyways, it has been intriguing to watch the Christ-type that the producers are making out of John Locke. In college my favorite lit. professor taught a class called "The image of Christ in the Novel", and I've spent a lot of time making the same type of observations about movies and tv shows.... and the last couple of weeks on Lost have intentionally milked that metaphor.

The theme for this week was resurrection. John Locke, a tortured savior who gives his life to save others, and then comes alive again.

Interestingly, the place of his body on the plane takes the place of Christian Shepherd, whose very name is all metaphor.

Last weeks episode was chock-full of themes that screamed religious imagery and metaphor. Locke's body was returned to the island on flight "316". Most relevant is Ben's conversation with Jack (the prototype of a skeptic) in the Lampost station (which is inside a church), in which Ben is characteristically evasive and talks about doubting Thomas.

"BEN: Thomas, the Apostle. When Jesus wanted to return to Judea, knowing that he probably would be murdered there, Thomas said to the others, "Let us all go that we might die with him." But Thomas was not remembered for this bravery. His claim to fame came later [pauses] when he refused to acknowledge the resurrection. He just couldn't wrap his mind around it. The story goes that he needed to touch Jesus' wounds to be convinced.
JACK: So, was he?
BEN: Of course he was. We're all convinced sooner or later Jack."

Well, if that is the metaphor we're running on, and Jack is doubting Thomas, then is John Locke the dying savior? Apparently, considering this week Locke is suddenly alive again on the island after his death in real-time. When Locke is facing hanging himself he is clearly distraught, confused, and agonizing (he always is... well... either that or stubbornly acting on blind faith).

I loved this comment from Time.com's Lostwatch:
"I was going to write that this undermines the Christ parallels that some have drawn for Locke, but thinking about it, it makes him more Christ-like--in the sense that you can feel him wishing, if I remember my Gospels correctly, that this cup could pass from him. Faith for him isn't some Zen-like impermeable armor. It's an ill-fitting burial suit. Faith is hard, and O'Quinn's every-nerve-ending-exposed performance shows us that. You can feel every hurt, from the physical pain to his heartbreak over Helen."

Interesting the Ben is essentially the crucifier, and then there's the scene of him kneeling before the body...

I love the Christian imagery - even in media where the imagery is thrown about randomly it still gets my attention. I mean, Lost has an Aaron, a Matthew, a John, a Jacob, Benjamine, and... what in the world is it all sybolizing?? Nothing is a perfect metaphor, of course, but it's the subtle message that we STILL don't know... and probably won't really know until the end of next season.

I still have so many questions. Has John replaced Jacob now that he's returned to the island? So - they have to save the people by returning to the island. They have now returned to the island... now what? What is the ultimate point of the island and their apparent destiny to be on it?

We still have some big holes from Jeremy Bentham's fake life. Several things that have been said by Hurley and Jack indicate that they had another visit from Locke, and it seems like Walt must have seen him again too. Hmm...

I do so love that there's so much payoff every episode these days. The character development at the beginning of the show was fantastic for hooking people in, but eventually it got frustrating to those of us who were desperately waiting for some answers to all of the mystery!

Book - Song of Saigon: One Woman's Journey to Freedom

2009-02-25T14:33:00.000-08:00

Currently Reading
Song of Saigon: One Woman's Journey to Freedom
By Anh Vu Sawyer, Pam Proctor
So I just finished this book - flew through it. I keep reading books that unexpectedly intersect with my life. This woman's story is incredible. She begins with the somewhat miraculous tale of pushing through crowds and somehow ending up with her ENTIRE family on one of the last helicopters out of Saigon when the US pulled out of Vietnam.

Then she goes back and begins with the story of her grandfather, an angry opium addict who goes through detox under a missionary and becomes a committed Christian, builds a big happy family, and becomes head over all of Vietnam's railroads.

Then the story of her mother, a spunky woman who falls in love and then loses that life when the battle between the French and the communists breaks out. She ends up marrying a communist leader who had once been imprisoned by the Japanese in the same "Hanoi Hilton" prison in which John McCain was later held. He defects to the French in the end, and that story leads into the moment when he, his wife, and their children get out of the country on the helicopter.

In the journey out of refugee camps, they are adopted by a church in west Chicago. She has an offer to be cared for on her own by a guy who wants to pay her way to medical school. In the end the family turns down that offer for keeping the family together, and he ends up stalking her - and is later arrested for being part of a prostitution ring that preyed on the Vietnamese refugee girls. Yuck. In any case, one of the church women who helps her with the stalker thing is "Mrs. Ritchie", which I realized is the SAME as the wife of the guy who wrote "God in the Pits" that I read a few months back. Wow - that guy was an Mk from Afghanistan, and his passion for refugees led him to lead his church into adopting Vietnamese refugees and helping them integrate into society. The rest of the book I knew I was looking at a life that was totally transformed by the passion of Mr. Ritchie, who is awfully like me in his cynicism about the church but love for people overseas. Cool.

In any case, the main character goes to Wheaton for a year, where she gets to know EVERYONE (I can just picture it, we had a few kids like that at Moody - lol) and is entirely clothed by the missionary barrel (yep, me too). She falls in love with the most unconventional boy on campus - who is unconventional enough to be labeled by the student body as a "homosexual", a word that she doesn't understand for 10 more years. In any case, he is not, and after several years of long distance dating, they marry and move to inner city NY, where she works for a travel company and becomes a total fashionista (crazy life!). She said she would use her weekends to fly to Boston and shop all Saturday at Filene's basement for shoes. Haha!

The story goes on, but what a life she led! The ins and outs of what she goes through in light of her family history is really amazing. I love autobiographies.